Now I’m getting headaches. I had around 150 people & ever since this damn addiction, I have almost 300 people in my list. I don’t have anything against people in general but there are weirdos who think they have the right to butt in. Then there are people who keep on complaining. Of course we do meet nice people. And I do feel very sorry for all those who are rude & have some problem. There are some men who believe that every female is ready to flirt with them.
What pricks me is the fact that I don’t have any control over the game but the game has control over me. I want to become big & strong in the mafia & this is nothing but vanity. It’s only a desire to prove to myself that I’m good at it. This is meaningless shit!
I’ve done far crazier things in life but I’ve noticed one thing…when more people come in the picture, something is sure to go rotten. It definitely doesn’t work with me.
Anyhow it’s in my nature to get tired of things quite easily. I hope I get rid of this fever soon.
I also read about some very disturbing cases today. In one part of the world, someone is wearing smelly clothes & doesn’t have food. Due to poverty, parents desert their kids. Some people don’t have stoves. Just now I saw this clip in which a child was physically abused by her step-father & one day, he hit her so hard in the stomach that she died.
And here I am worried about becoming better in the mafia. Sometimes everything seems so meaningless.
