Yesterday I read about this 107 year old Malaysian woman who is looking for 23rd husband & her husband number 22 is 70 years younger than her. She fears that her current husband might leave her for another young woman. She even made headlines when 4 years ago, she got married for the 22nd time. This story may seem hilarious but I admire her guts. When you are old, you feel more lonely & I guess everyone needs a partner; age doesn’t really matter.
I have seen that if a woman gets married even the 2nd time, it’s taken very badly. In fact, if a woman settles down with a married man, that is regarded to be some heinous act. When we hear of some woman who has been married 3 times, everyone thinks she’s promiscuous or something. I once read about a character & I did mention her in one of my writings…she used to have sex with anyone she liked & she was married. And she too was considered a slut by many in the book.
Then I couldn’t help thinking of the movie ’Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.’ I liked the movie. It’s possible that you are being married to the nicest guy & yet you’re not happy. Having an extra-marital affair is something so not acceptable…although it happens. It’s just that people don’t like the idea of a married person having a good time with someone else (other than his/her spouse). And then there are terrible marriages & I don’t think people have the right to judge those people who are having a bit of a nice time. In fact people don’t have the right to judge anyone.
I have always been a very open person. I remember when I was a teenager I said to my friends that I do think about my 1st love all night long. And they were put in a state of shock. As if they didn’t fantasize anyone. In fact, there are times when you think about kissing a person or even having sex with whom you’re only being attracted towards & as such you don’t feel much about that person. You know people get tempted; some get serious, some don’t - & that could be regarded as a tragedy as well :P
Before I forget, some people bothered my kid sister with stupid questions about cyber sex & all that kind of cyber shit. I am the one who writes about sex, not my sister, so just don’t bother her. It doesn’t mean you should send stupid queries to me. I don’t know why people presume all sorts of things about females who write about such stuff. If you can think about something, then I don’t see the harm of saying it. Since people love to pretend & lie to themselves, they wouldn’t get what I’m saying. And the thing is…you don’t kiss every person you talk to. Alright.
I don’t know about others but one of the reasons why I’m not married is that I do believe in marriage. My parents didn’t have a great relationship. I’m the 4th child of my parents & Zara, Umar & I were too young when Papa passed away. I once suggested the idea of my mother getting married again & my elder sister gave me a piece of her mind. She said that you can get married when your husband dies & this is so desperate & no one can approve of such a crazy idea. On a couple of occasions, I did mention this to some of my really out friends & they too were like…oh Nadira, have you gone off your head? ; she doesn’t have to get married. I have discussed this thing with my mom as well & she said that I’m mad to even think of such absurd things.
I seriously don’t think that what I suggested was something crazy or foolish. People have created boundaries around themselves. And they also don’t want others to step out of those stupid man-made rules. They want everyone to follow the same rotten road. They want everyone to have the same pattern of life. And I don’t understand why. In fact I don’t want to understand it. It seems people like the idea of seeing living corpses around them.
Anyway I say…do nothing but at least enjoy life.
