Although I’ve written bizarre pieces on our book ‘If Immortals had been Immortals’ but once in a blue moon, it really hurts to know that hard work doesn’t always acquire result of any kind whatsoever.
More than a year was wasted when my elder brother promised that he would get the book published from America as it was really very easy to get anything published there, but he never had the time. At the same time we had to hear sarcastic comments from other siblings. Our mistake – one shouldn’t expect anything of family! Z & I did not know much but we got it published online on Smashwords & Lulu. Another publishing house in America wanted us to pay so much that we had to back off. I’m not yet sure if it was a mistake to back off. We even went to this publishing house in Karachi where they want us to wait for a year & I just hope they say no, because I’m so not fucking interested anymore.
Things haven’t changed much & there is no place for experimental writings. Writing a book is not like blogging. It’s real hard work. I guess people who are into writing have always been taken as demented fools. In fact what I have been doing for animals for the past 10 years is also considered sheer madness on my part. I look after 33 cats, but this is not work. They think I’m having a ball of a time cleaning shit & urine, & taking care of abandoned babies who have slim chances of surviving. They have no fucking clue as to what it’s like to domesticate a stray or to look after a very sick stray cat. And I don’t expect people to understand, but sometimes I find it very annoying.
Anyway, I’ve given up on the idea of animal shelter. I believe that I’m jinxed. If I hadn’t been a part of that book, it might have worked. Things just don’t seem to work out when I’m involved. They get messier & messier.
I also get pissed off when I meet these damn old acquaintances on FB. (In real life, I’m a recluse & then I’m also quite difficult to talk to when I don’t want to talk to anyone, but online it’s a different story)They just want to know one thing – why aren’t you married. Isn’t there anything else in life? And I don’t know what the hell should I say. Well I don’t have a great experience so far as family thing is concerned. Naturally it’s kind of difficult for me to get into any relationship. On top of it, almost everyone has problem with my cats. I just don’t fucking understand that. It’s my mom who financially supports. I never ask anyone to help me out in any way. So what’s the problem? I find all of this very annoying.
