See Cary humiliate herself for your edification.
I’m 47. Most of you know this. At 47, you can acquire STDs just like you can at 17. I know, because I was just diagnosed with two of them. Levi was tested, too, but he tested clear. My doc thinks I’ve had these things dormant and the stress of a new relationship, etc., brought them out.
One is cured, one is not curable. I don’t know where I got them. This is the first time I’ve had symptoms. I have always been pretty careful about this kind of thing, coming of age around the time we started hearing about AIDS for the first time and all.
So I’m humiliated which is stupid because if I caught strep I wouldn’t be humiliated, or if I got the chickenpox or shingles I wouldn’t be ashamed but, you know, that’s not how it works for STDs even if you are a rational nurse type person.
Doc says this stuff may have been there for 20 years and just now showed itself. It’s scary and upsetting. I’ve taken meds and I’m fine.
Also, I have to be on the pill. Doc says use birth control until I’m 50. The odds of getting pregnant are not high because I’m perimenopausal, but they aren’t zero, so pill it is.
USE PROTECTION, GUYS. EVEN WHEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN YOU DON’T NEED TO. ESPECIALLY THEN.
My doctor’s office consensus is that my recent spouse fooled around and gave me diseases. I don’t know where I got them. It doesn’t even matter, you know? Not at this point.
Levi and I talked about this stuff extensively. It’s a big fucking deal and I thought he gave me something and so did he. We were both horrified. I’m so glad he’s clear. I’m sad I’m not, but we are going forward just peachily and carefully and happily.
If I can’t be a paragon of virtue and good sense, I can at least serve as a warning to others, right?
Also, my weight is down another 5 for a total of 30# since November, and my cholesterol went from 262 to normal. I’m the healthiest and happiest I’ve been in years. The STDs can go fuck themselves.
Love you guys. Be careful out there.
