Yesterday I commented on Z’s post:
I think that would be a novel about the test of faith under circumstances in which you get no help.
I think I said almost everything in that comment that I wanted to say. 18 years have passed in just one blink. But those 18 years have been extremely tough. You know at that time I thought God used to compensate. But now I know there is no such thing as balance. The concept of compensation evaporated in thin air...yeah it took many years, but finally I realized that some people have it & some people don’t.
I wasn’t in a very good mood yesterday. I didn’t want to relive those memories, but somehow you just can’t help it. It happens before you know it. I was in 1st year when my father passed away & we were having our god-damn exams. I had one in the morning too when Papa died. I slept at 12 & my elder sister woke me up at 2 o’clock. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I thought she was in a state of fit. I went downstairs to check out what she was saying was true or just her imagination. It may sound weird but I didn’t cry. I cried when I talked to my best friend in the morning.
I wish I had spent more time with him. More than that, I wish I had known him. I also don’t expect anyone to understand what I’m saying, cause I know only those who have been through it at a younger age would know what it’s like to lose a parent.
92 is one year I would give anything to erase from my memory actually.
And he was a really good human. It’s a loss for everyone. Sometimes I wonder why bad people live for so long & the good ones die so early that their own kids are left at the mercy of this ugly world.
