My Udo My Udo What Have Ye Done

JA from MNPP here. Have you read this phenomenally odd and delightful interview with the actor Udo Kier at The AV Club? Odd and delightful are the two words I'd always use whenever mentioning Mr. Kier, but he really brings it this time around.

Over at MNPP  I picked out my fifteen favorite quotes from the interview, but I'm so oddly delighted in this chat's wake I've got to just keep on thinking about Udo, and what better way to do that then to mercilessly pick apart the work he's done over the years with a completely frivolous list. He's worked so much in such a vast array of projects that there are dozens of his performances that I've missed (I don't know how this is possible but it appears I've never seen any of the films he's done with Fassbinder, for example), but out of the many I have seen here are my five favorite performances of his.

5 Favorites



Lee Meyers, My Son My Son What Have Ye Done - I don't think it's often that Udo gets picked to play a straight man to somebody else's nuttery, but when stacked up against a way out there Michael Shannon it's not only possible, it's enthralling.

NSFW image after the jump





Hans, My Own Private Idaho - I think he sums it up best: "Amazing to have sex with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix!"

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Count Dracula, Andy Warhol's Dracula - It's hard choosing between his Dracula and his Dr. Frankenstein in the previous year's (superior) Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, but his sickly Drac casts an enfeebledly hypnotic spell I can't quite shake.


Aage Krüger / Little Brother, The Kingdom - You haven't truly lived until you've seen Udo's face emerge from the vital space of a birthing mother.

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Franz Hess, Grindhouse's fake trailer for "Werewolf Women of the SS" - Sure I could've picked something from his other classier works, like all the stuff he's done with Von Trier (he's Lars' most commonly used actor, ya know), but I think this one about sums it all up in a nice tight insane bow.

Runner-up: He played a character named "Wolfgang Herzog" on an episode of Nash Bridges. I haven't seen it, I don't need to see it, without knowing it demands a place upon this list.
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Top Ten Horror Movies For Posers

So, you call yourself a horror fan? You dress up on Halloween, you got your Team Jacob gear and have even seen Rob Zombie in concert. You tell everyone how much you love horror. However, you don't have a clue who George Romero is and you think Bram Stoker is the dude who played Dracula in the movie with Keanu Reeves. You my friend, might just be a horror poser. Here is a list of movies that just might be for you. Before you get angry this list is all in fun and some of the movies are actually pretty good. Don't expect to earn a lot of horror credibility from them though.





Here they are from ten to one.



10. The Fog (remake)- The original was directed by the legendary John Carpenter, the remake was directed by, um, someone else. Not the worst remake to be made in recent years, it still is bad. Gone are the like able cast and the creepy, disturbing un-dead lepers from the first. Instead we get cheap CGI and half hearted acting from a cast that seems like they had rather be somewhere else. It did not do well at the box office but I am amazed that so many young horror fans love this film. Posers love CGI apparently.



9. House of the Dead- Some consider this to be Uwe Boll's worst film. I prefer Alone in the Dark for that honor, still House of the Dead, runs a close second. Many people, like myself got suckered in by the MTV style commercials featuring DMX's blaring music. It really looked good. Live and learn, I guess. Up until the recent Day of the Dead remake this was the worst zombie film EVER. That includes Plan 9 From Outer Space, which at least you can laugh at. That is why I am so shocked when every so often it shows up on a list of favorite zombie movies. I blame their parents.

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