Hobo With a Shotgun

Hobo With a Shotgun

All the advance word on Hobo With a Shotgun likened it to Grindhouse cinema. Being a fan of the grind I was eager to check it out. I got the chance to meet with Hobo director Jason Eisner at Texas Frightmare Weekend. Coming home I was even more determined to see the film. Luckily the film was out on VoD and I finally got the time to sit back and watch it.



Rutger plays the titular anti- hero. It is a bit of a different role than I have ever seen him in before. He plays a world weary hero, who sees too much and realizes he can’t just turn away anymore.



The film starts off slow. Almost too slow. Don’t get me wrong there is loads of violence all garishly shown in full detail. The violence is mostly cartoonish, over the top and brightly colored. Still the film just never seemed to get me going. That changed once the Hobo finds the shotgun.



With gun in hand the random gore turns into a symphony of brutality and Hauer conducts it with aplomb. Bad guys are blown away in rapid succession including a pedophile Santa. Rutger delivers one liners that would make Clint Eastwood blush. In many scenes he seems to be channeling Dirty Harry.



The violence is so over the top it isn’t hard to watch. People overly sensitive, especially to violence toward children may have a problem with it. It’s no Hostel, no A Serbian Film, and in reality it’s not even a Grindhouse film. Hobo With a Shotgun is more akin to the video nasties of the VHS age in the 80s. Think Troma, especially The Toxic Avenger, and some of the gorier Full Moon efforts.



It isn’t a happy film. It’s not a feel good film. It is a movie to watch a good guy who’s had enough slaughter cartoonish bad guys. It is a fun movie, but a fun movie for people who enjoy comedic, over the top gore. I liked it. Does that tell you anything?

Insidious

Insidious is the new film from director James Wan who is most famous as a co creator of the Saw franchise. Insidious is being billed as the scariest film since Poltergeist. I’m not willing to go so far as agree with that statement but Insidious is an effective horror movie.

Insidious starts of with a typical family, Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson star as the parents of two young boys. After an injury, the oldest child slips into a coma. Doctors can find no medical reason for the coma, and he fails to respond to any treatment.

Meanwhile strange occurrences start to happen in the family home. Noises and strange shadows evolve into a full out haunting. As the stress mounts from the haunting and the coma, the family decide to move to escape the specters.

Unfortunately the occurrences follow them and continue to grow in strength. The family consults a medium, played by Lyn Shaye, who informs them it isn’t the house but their child that is haunted. The situation quickly grow violent as the spirits resist being banished. This leaves the father to take drastic steps to save his son and his family.

The first half of Insidious really works. The scares are all genuine and I jumped several times. J Larose, from Saw III was especially frightening as one of the spirits haunting the family. I would have never considered Tiptoe Through the Tulips especially scary, but wan finds a way to make it work when mixing it with a child ghost.

The most horrifying revenant however is the “demon.” Early on he is only vaguely seen and this adds to the sense of dread. In fact one of the only miscues, in my opinion, was bringing the creature fully into the light. Half seen he is truly terrifying. Fully seen, all I could think of was he looked like a cross between Freddy Krueger and The Creeper on his way to Burning Man.

Luckily most of the end game scares come form the most sinister ghost of all the “old lady.” if your blood hasn’t already turned cold in Insidious it will when she makes her appearance. Each appearance.

The film does veer heavily into the realm of Poltergeist. Wilson must venture into the astral plane to try and rescue his son. I wasn’t too crazy about this idea at first as it seems to close to Poltergeist. While there were a few creepy moments, like the frozen family, this is the weakest part of the film.

A lot of that is due to the demon making a full appearance. While the viewers might have felt cheated to never see him full on, I think he would have been much more effective staying in the shadows. The end is saved by the old lady, and a twist that even though I knew was coming, was pulled off exceptionally. Any other ending would have felt wrong.

Insidious is the best full on, supernatural horror film I have seen in a while. There is just enough humor to give you a small rest from the scares. Most of the laughs come from the “ghost hunters.” Wan is able to draw the viewer in, so that the laughs never seem forced. You feel like the family on screen is laughing too, and when you faceplam, you have to believe that Wilson and Byrne were too.

The requisite séance is handled in an surreal, way with the addition of the gas mask for the medium. It looks silly at first, but it works, adding a dynamic that normally isn’t there. Once again I felt like I was in the same boat as the family. We struggle to hear whats going on just as they do.

The film is also helped by the always wonderful Barbara Hershey. Fresh off a killer performance in Black Swan, she plays Wilsons mother in the film. I like the fact that she was supportive of Byrne, against the grain of most haunt films where the mother in law is an adversary. She acts as a comforter and a device to drive the film forward by introducing Shaye’s character.

All of the characterizations seem more than the usual cookie cutter horror stereotypes. Wilson is a supportive husband, going so far as to pick up and move homes for his wife. There are tensions within the family, as could be expected when a child is comatose, but they are played out realistically. Kudos all around to the acting, and the writing of the characters.


One last note, Insidious has one of the most effective and scary title screens I can remember. The mixture of sudden sound and the flashing title will illicit a jump if you aren’t expecting it.

Insidious is still in theaters so run out and see it, before it sees you

Red Riding Hood aka Dude, Your Hair is Awesome

I really had high hopes for the Red Riding Hood, the newest incarnation of a Grimm Brothers fairy tale. Just seeing a darker, more malevolent version of the childhood classic was a draw for me. There have been several retellings of the story including In the Company of Wolves, and recently the excellent Halloween anthology Trick r Treat. When Gary Oldman was added to the cast that pretty much sealed the deal for me. The rest of the cast seemed solid, nothing that really got me whipped into a frenzy, but Oldman is one of my favorite living actors, and he always brings his A game.



There were things that concerned me. A PG-13 rating meant that the film wouldn’t be too dark. Plus PG-13 has in recent times become synonymous with horrible teeny bopper horror. Probably the biggest warning sign was that Red Riding Hood was being directed by Catherine Hardwicke. For those who don’t know Catherine was the director of the biggest insult to horror film this side of anything by Uwe Boll. That’s right she directed Twilight.



Still Gary Oldman and the promise of a dark version of Red Riding Hood pulled me. A version like we know had to be the original telling of the story. So I took a chance, and the film left me with mixed feelings.



The film was beautifully shot throughout. Excellent use of colors and the scenery kept the viewer riveted to the screen. The wolf attacks were less than bloody for the most part. In the scenes where we see the CGI wolf it isn’t that bad. I didn’t like the scenes where the wolf just blurs across the screen, killing so quickly we can’t focus on it. If the creature were that fast, the film should have ended within the first thirty minutes. Final score village- 0, Wolf-everyone.

Still the story was interesting and Gary soon made his appearance and his hair was wonderful. He lit up the screen as only Gary Oldman can. We watched as he changed from heroic savior to vicious witch hunter. All the time his hair was perfect.



There was a love story of course, actually a bit of a love triangle (oh noes TWILIGHT ALERT), between Red, Peter (Peter Rabbit or Peter Wolf), and Henri. Red of course loved perfect hair Peter, while ignoring brooding Henri(aha she kind of pulled a switch from Twilight, even though peter’s hair did look a lot like Edward’s). The Peter character really wasn’t very likeable, and I hoped Red would end up with Henri (does that make me Team Henri?) Even though he was brooding, his hair looked nice too. Maybe not as nice as Peter’s, and definitely not in the same league as Gary’s hair.



The movie turns into a whodunnit with more red herring’s flying than pies at a Three Stooges convention. Who is the werewolf? Is it Peter, Henri, grandma, or possible the sexy granddad from Geico? Well it couldn’t be Gary, the wolf’s hair just wasn’t good enough. The Wolf had short over conditioned hair with quite a lot of hair gel. Kind of like Peter, hmm. It was about two thirds of the way in when I realized.



Where the hell did Peter get hair gel in a Medieval village? Ok I know suspension of belief and all that but COME ON. Everyone’s hair was perfect, even the requisite crazy villager looked like he just came from Super Cuts. Still Peter was the worst offender. Oldman’s flowing hair can be explained since he was both a member of the clergy and a bit of a celebrity from the big city. Plus I freely admit I cannot say anything bad about Gary Oldman. If Gary Oldman chased me through Beverly Hills throwing feces at me and calling me a pedophile, I’d still be singing his praises.





Most of the villagers had hair that, while very nice, I could cope with, but Peter? Dippity doo and wolf shit too, his hair took me right out of the film. After I noticed it, well like a ugly mole on a hot chick, once you see it, you can’t un-see it.



Still if you can get away from the hair, don’t stare, it’s rude, just look away, it’s not a bad film in itself. Amanda Seyfrid makes a decent Red, err Valerie and Max Irons makes Henri a lot deeper and more likeable character than Peter. There are some great scenes like the village revelry. During the street party the soundtrack blends in perfectly with the music of the village.



The CGI is on the better end of the scale and doesn’t detract from the film. The ending really disappointed me though. At this point she really dipped into her bag of Twilight tricks. It felt as if she was almost trying to make this a prequel to the “kinder and gentler” Twilight werewolf’s, as well making it more of a fairy tale. Yes I know it is a fairy tale movie, but we were promised dark. Dark is not a girl and werewolf starring wistfully into each others eyes, or scenes of Red and Peter climbing snow covered hills. Where is the true pain and tragedy of the curse, not cheap emo sighs.


So the verdict? After all that I don’t feel like I wasted my cash, ok maybe I wasted half of the ticket price. I am a sucker for medieval settings, and Grimm’s tales. Plus getting to see Gary Oldman is always worth at least three bucks. Fans of Twilight will love it, although Team Jacob fans might get upset over a vicious werewolf. Fans of real horror will probably hit me with lemons for paying to see it. While it’s not a horrible movie, it is not really what I was hoping for. Twilight fans rush out now, fans of Gary Oldman and Grimm’s Fairy Tales, if there’s nothing else to do, why not? Everyone else, wait till it’s on HBO.

Damned by Dawn

Damned by Dawn




This Australian horror film was heavily marketed toward fans of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series. Watching the film it is easy to believe that the director is a fan of Raimi. The camera work and cinematography is reminiscent of the first Evil Dead film. Likewise the demons bear a fleeting resemblance to the “deadites” of Raimi’s films. However the humor off the Evil Dead series is missing from Damned by Dawn. The movie is dark and humorless, but I think the film works better without humor. Paying homage to Sam Raimi is one thing but I think trying to make an unauthorized remake would be a massive fail.



The movie’s plot revolves around the legend of the banshee coming to claim the soul of the dying. Piercing and horrifying screams awaken a family, when the matriarch is on her death bed. The old lady warns then that they must not interfere when the banshee comes to claim her soul. Off course they do interfere. This leads the shrieking spectre to awaken the dead to hunt down the family one by one.



The film manages to be creepy and scary at times. It even made me jump early on, which doesn’t happen a lot. The outside scenes look reminiscent not only of Raimi’s early work but also remind me a bit of Hammer films. The scenes are mostly kept dark which serves to help the effects, keeping the undead onscreen but for the most part not easily seen. The creatures appear to be CG or possibly a mix of Cg and practical effects. The fog and darkness work to keep them obscured enough so that they do not look as fake as most CG effects.



Some of the gore effects would have been better served to have been obscured more. The film makers attempt to pile on the demon gore ala Raini, but it doesn’t work as well. I won’t say that all of Raimi’s gore looked realistic, but on Damned by Dawn it just really looks fake.



It’s a minor detail though and overall it is a very effective little horror film. The banshee’s screams are chilling, and watching it in the dark can lead to jumps and squirms. Damned by Dawn will not make you stop waiting for Evil Dead 4, like the DVD case promises, but it might help you hold out till then.

Hanger

Hanger by Ryan Nicholson

Hanger is a 2009 movie directed by Ryan Nicholson, the director of such sleaze horror classics as Gutterballs and Live Feed. Anyone familiar with Ryan’s directorial work should already have a good idea what they are in for with Hanger. For anyone else the films synopsis SHOULD be enough warning, but even knowing both these things I found myself surprised by the audacity in Hanger. Fans of Ryan’s other work and those with an extremely warped sense of humor should love Hanger.

I got to admit I was a bit disgusted by some of the stuff I saw on the screen. It would be hard to tell watching me watch it because I was moving from “EWW” to laughing out loud with barely a break. I can safely say I think 80% of my friends wouldn’t like Hanger, probably at least half would be morally offended and 10-20% would think less of me as a human being for even watching it. It is definitely not a film for everyone.

Hanger is a film about a botched coat hanger abortion, ok that right there should tell you a lot. While the mom dies the baby manages to survive, horribly mutilated, both physically and mentally with a taste for blood. He grows up on the streets till his father comes for him on his 18th birthday and they set out on a path of revenge against the pimp who killed his mom.

Reading the synopsis I was expecting a typical revenge flick, type horror film. A film where a hideously deformed killer stalks hapless victims in search of the one who wronged him. Well there was a little of that but damn Nicholson can really pile on the sleaze. If you are the type who can’t watch a film with a morally ambiguous killer, avoid Hanger. However if a film in which the “hero” eats a Jehovah’s Witness while screaming “Give me a baby” maybe you might like it, but that is really just the tip of the iceberg.

To enjoy Hanger, or at least get through it, you need to be able to watch rape scenes shot in humorous ways including anal rape on an unconscious man, and rape of the heroes’ stoma (surgical incision in the side that allows you to bypass you rectum to defecate). I usually don’t like giving spoilers but besides the above scenes prepare for bloody tampons being sniffed and sucked, tea being made from tampons, being choked to death on feces, a coat hanger abortion, forced cunnilingus on a bound man (pretty graphic), a man choked to death on a tampon and bloody menstrual flow, cannibalism, and well I am sure I have missed something and that’s just the big stuff. Prudes also need to know it features a fully nude female masturbation that is hotter than anything I have seen in a no porn film, as well as some light object penetration. The nude scene is featuring actress Candice Lewald from Gutterballs. She is a beautiful actress and stands in stark contrast to the other physically deformed characters.

Does this film have any redeeming values? That’s kind of a trick question because I don’t think director Nicholson intended it to have any redeeming values. He sets out to produce horror sleaze that will appeal to only a select portion of the horror fan base and he succeeds. I personally preferred Gutterballs as it was more of a straight up horror film, albeit somewhat of a parody of the slasher horror film. With all of the depravity of Hanger, the part I most disliked was that Hanger himself was not a likeable hero. The protagonist in a film doesn’t have to be a good guy, but Hanger just seems to want to be a god guy, but he keeps eating people. I get where Ryan is going (I think) but that part just didn’t work for me.

The disgusting stuff didn’t bother me that much, I mean it’s just a movie people. I don’t like fecal horror, so the poop scenes weren’t really for me. Some may say rape is never humorous, and I agree. I didn’t laugh during the rape scene in Gutterballs, and I didn’t laugh at the rape in Hanger, but neither did they instill a righteous anger at the director for filming them.

In the interest of complete honesty, the best part of the film was the gorgeous Candice Lewald, credited as Candice Le in the film. Revealing more than most actress are willing to reveal on film, at least non porn, she heats up Hanger ( no pun if you have seen the film) with her long masturbation scene. The tampon scenes may turn off a lot of people, but may just as well turn on a lot of people. She could be in my movie, or be my secretary, any time.

So after all this what is my opinion, and would I recommend Hanger. While disgusting and sleazy, past the point of any film I have seen so far, I liked Hanger. I do think Gutterballs is a better film and personally liked it better, but for what it is, Hanger works. I did not like the character Hanger and could do without the poop scenes but that wasn’t enough for me to completely dislike Hanger. Would I recommend Hanger? After reading this you shouldn’t have to ask. I would only recommend it to fans of Ryan Nicholson’s other films and fans of gross out sleaze horror. People with a weak stomach and who can’t take what I mentioned above should avoid it at all costs.

Grimm Love

Grimm Love is based on the notorious German internet cannibal murders. Featuring a story within a story starring Kerri Russell as a student writing her thesis on the case. She researches into the pasts of the two en involved as we watch in flashbacks. Russell becomes more and mote attached to the case. She comes to sympathize with the men and wondering exactly what could drive people to become so lost that cannibalism was the only way they could feel whole.




She hears rumors that a video tape exists of the murder and cannibalism. Her curiosity overcomes her and she sets out on a quest to find the tape that plunges her into the underground world of online cannibalism forums. All the while trying to come to grips with the morality of the crime. IS it murder to kill someone who wants to be killed? Finally she receives a copy of the tape and we watch with her as the act unfolds.



Once again acting on the belief that less is more, the film never gets extremely graphic and is perhaps more disturbing because of this. There is blood, and while the actual act of emasculation is off camera it is none the less disturbing. There are scenes of simulated cannibalism which are not for the faint hearted or weak stomached viewer.

In the end Russell is sickened by the tape and destroys it. Russell spends the better part of the movie playing at a gothic lifestyle. She is fascinated by the case but coming face to face with the horror, she turns away in revulsion. We can only wonder if she still feels anything toward the characters, other than disgust. It has long been theorized that you can not observe an experiment without affecting it. Grimm Love seems to show that just as well we cannot view and experiment without being affected by it.

Grimm Love is available on DVD from Fangoria's Frightfest imprint.  The avergae horror fan might find it a bit slow and relatively bloodless but the content itself is very disturbing.  Considering this is more realisticaly based on a true story than most true horrors adds to that level of uneasiness.  Most of the facts of the case are presented pretty much truthfully, with the exception of the wrap around featuring Russell.

Bitch Slap

Don't watch Bitch Slap for the story. What passes for a story will most likely leave you confused, disappointed and saying"huh?" There are plenty of reasons to watch this film though. Reasons such as the three drop dead gorgeous leads, ridiculously cool dialogue, action packed scenes and just good old campy goodness. Bitch slap brings to mind the heights of Roger Corman but with modern technology and flashier effects. Not to mention Boobs, lots of boobs. While there is no nudity from the three leads, it really makes the film work better. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see this entire movie reenacted with all three leads naked, the lack of nudity adds to the sexy tease factor. The dialogue is absolutely priceless. You will find yourself repeating lines like "Ran this in your clam bake, bitch cake" and "kooterlicious." The movie also features the most brutal and bloody fist fight I have ever seen between two females. the fight isn't very realistic but it isn't matrix fake either. The movie is fronted and closed with vintage looking stripping and go-go style pop music. The movie would have been better suited to drop the heavy metal score and go with the poppy 70s sound of the closing credits.  The story is full of flashback after flashback, and will lose almost everyone.  It's like if Quentin Tarantino was on super crack while directing Pulp Fiction.  Just ignore it till the final flashback and tell everyone you got it.  They won't know any better.  Also look out for minor roles from Kevin Sorbo of Hercules, and Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor from Xena Warrior princess,

Petey Wheatstraw

Classic blacksploitation film starring Rudy Ray More as Petey Wheatstraw, the Devil's Son in Law. The film is still funny even though it is dated.  Don't look for high brow humor just goofy fun.  Petey is a comedian gunned down by his rivals played by comedians Leroy and Skillet. The devil appears and offers Petey a second chance but only if Petey marries the devil's ugly daughter.  Petey accept the offer in order to get revenge but starts scheming on how to trick the devil.  Fans of Sandford and Son may remember Leroy and Skillet from several appearances there.

Satan's Little Helper

I finally got around to watching this last week and all I can say is "Why did I wait so long?" It is a real treat and I loved it.  Part horror movie, part dark comedy with a bit of not so subtle social commentary, but most of all Satan's Little Helper is a buddy movie.  A buddy movie about a boy and a psychopath.  It's what happens when  boy brings a serial home for dinner.  Set at Halloween little Dougie is all wrapped up in his new video game, Satan's Little Helper.  His mom, genre vet Amanda Plummer is almost completely oblivious to Dougie.  Dougie's big sister is coming home for Halloween ( better than home for Christmas!) and all is well till she shows up with her new boyfriend and upsets Dougie's Trick or Treat plans.  Leaving home to sulk Dougie runs into a masked man arranging a dead body to look like a Halloween prop.  Thinking that it is Satan (from the video game), Dougie befriends him and brings him home.  Mayhem follows Dougie and his new friend as they create Halloween havoc, all "pretend" in Dougie's eyes until Satan targets his family.

You will either love or hate Dougie.  His naive act is a bit hard to believe near the end of the movie, but it is necessary to carry the plot forward.  I loved his wide eyes blood thirsty innocence.  Playfully directing "Satan" on his murderous spree. Plummer is perfect as the some what ditsy and distracted mom.  Katheryn Winnick as Dougie's sister Jenna comes of as the voice of reason throughout most of the film.  She is easy on the eyes too a beautiful young lady but someone you could easily see as your big sister.  The plot has a couple of twists and while the last one should have been expected it did catch me off guard.  The first big twist left me almost in tears although it could offend some religious people.  Nevertheless I thought it was brilliant.

The absolute shining star of Satan's Little Helper is Satan man himself.  Wearing a goofy plastic mask he still puts more charisma and personality into the character than a box full of Tom Cruises.  Constantly  giving high fives and  thumbs up to Dougie as well as flipping off the cops and adults, he is a true treat.  he will have you laughing up until the second he eviscerates a helpless victim.  The ending is dark and a bit ambiguous.  We don't see what is happening but we hear the family's reaction when they realize the final shocking twist.  It is an almost perfect ending.  I admit Dougie's dialogue near the end is a bit stupid, but by then you should have already came to the conclusion that maybe he isn't a very bright kid.  Satan's Little Helper goes on my list of required Halloween viewing.

Jonah Hex review

Another DC comics character came to life on the big screen with Jonah Hex. Hex stars Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex, Megan Fox as his love interest and John Malkovitch as Jonah’s arch nemesis. Jonah Hex has been a film I have been looking forward too every since I first heard it was being made. I remember Jonah fondly from my childhood and am a big fan of the recent mini series written by Joe R. Lansdale. The early reviews were tough on old Jonah but that didn’t deter me from laying my cash down for a ticket opening weekend.

The movie follows the adventures of the title Jonah, a former Confederate soldier as he searches for the man who killed his family and left him brutally scarred. The film was not perfect but overall I enjoyed it. Hopefully the film will do well enough for a sequel. Now for the good and the bad about the film.

Josh Brolin makes the perfect Jonah Hex. After seeing this I could not imagine anyone else playing the role. Maybe Clint Eastwood in his younger years could have pulled it off. After all Eastwood modeled the look of Josey Wales on Jonah. Brolin had just the right amount of machismo for the role. At the same time we could see that sadness, melancholy and outright hatred that Jonah posses for those that wrong him. Josh also has the rough features that suit Jonah so well.

The story had more of a supernatural edge that I was expecting. Early on there were rumors of a zombie army, but the film makers decided to go a more realistic route. Knowing this I was not expecting the amount of supernatural thrown in Jonah Hex. Still they didn’t push it too far, leaving Jonah with the ability to talk to the dead and a demonic “snake man” in one scene. Both of these could be played off as non supernatural with a small stretching of the mental muscle. Jonah would not seem right without at least a touch of the otherworldly.

Megan Fox has gotten a lot of criticism and I know a lot of people who groaned when she got the role of Lila. Honestly she has earned some of her criticisms, but she does a decent job in Jonah Hex. Her accent was strained, but her dialogue is somewhat limited. She is beautiful to look at and handles the more physical parts very well.
It‘s hard to say anything bad about John Malkovitch. That being said he really didn‘t have that much depth of character here to work with. He did ok with the role but Turnbull really didn’t seem developed beyond generic evil villain. His voice and demeanor suited Turnbull perfectly and he was an excellent choice. He just needed more to work with. Likewise Turnbulls grand plan to “destroy the country” seemed not so well thought out and his motivations not that clear.


One of the things that scared me going into the film was the use of gadgets in the trailer. Jonah was always six gun and fists kind of anti hero, not a James West secret agent type guy. Happily the gadgets did not play as big a part as I had feared. They still seemed out of place and I think the film would have worked just as well without them.

The character of Smith seemed thrown in just as a way to distance Jonah from slavery ( and provide gadgets.) As it is Smith stands almost as a token black with no real story or purpose. Leaving Jonah in his Confederate coat and hat was one thing I liked about the film. Throwing aside any fears of political correctness and possibly tackling the truth that not all men who fought for the South believed in slavery. This brings me to another point, Jonah’s origin.

In the comic origin ( at least one of them, comics are nefarious for having multiple origins,) Jonah surrenders to the Union, and ala Josey Wales, his men are slaughtered. Inn the film it makes it seem that Jonah is complicit in the slaughter and paints all his men as evil. The story doesn’t go too deeply into this but a scene with Jonah looking on as his men are lined up sticks in my mind.

One of the great things about westerns is the west. The soaring mountains and wide open spaces are a cinematographer’s dream. Jonah Hex had little of this. Other than a few scenes the whole film could possibly have been filmed on a sound stage. There are a couple of spooky graveyards and a few scenes of Jonah Riding across the range but too much is filmed indoors and at night. I would have loved to have seen Jonah in a gun battle in the middle of the wilderness instead of so much sneaking around.

While I am not a Megan Fox hater, and she did do a decent job in Jonah Hex, I did find myself thinking she was simply too attractive for the role. I can’t remember Jonah ever being that picky about the ladies. With his prominent facial scarring, I don’t think he could have been that picky. Still seeing Megan Fox all sweaty in that tight corset did make me happier than seeing Rosanne Barr in it. I’m willing to call Megan a positive on that account alone.

The hallucinatory fight between Jonah and Turnbull seemed forced. I really didn’t see the need for it beyond just giving Brolin and Malkovitch more time on screen together. I had much rather have seen this a s a real fight near the end of the film, or even a fight before the end. Probably my biggest knock against the film is that I would have liked more action. Give me another fight scene with Michael Fassbender or Malkovitch. I wanted more gunplay.

Still even though this might seem negative, I loved Jonah Hex. Why? Because over all it is just so cool and seeing Jonah Hex on the big screen is a dream come true. The wrong actor could have spoiled this but Josh Brolin nailed it. So even though there are a lot of things that could have been better, I have to give it an enthusiastic thumbs up.

The Gene Generation

Gene Generation- Pretty bloody for a sci fi film and actually had a few horror elements. The plot was confusing as hell so lets just throw it out the window and say some people were looking for stuff someone else had, and some other people wanted some other stuff, then the same stuff etc, etc. Mayhem ensues.   Bai Ling's acting, well probably the only thing that kept reminding me she wasn't a cardboard cut out was the six foot long nipples, that she showed in a few scenes. Nice but a bit of overkill on mother natures part. The thing I liked was the backgrounds which they didn't bother to make too realistic and gave it a steam punk kind of look. A lot of the architecture was very gothic and dark. You could have easily slipped in a cult of Cthuhlu and no one would have noticed. Speaking of the one who lies not dead, but dreaming, there were a shit load of tentacles in this film. Sprouted by a main character and used to kill. Its a mixed bag you might like it if you can just admire the scenery ( including Bai's nips) and gore but don;t expect much story wise.
The film also stars Parry Shen from Hatchet and Faye Dunaway

Quarentine

One of the best of the American remakes of a foreign horror film is Quarantine.  Quarantine is fairly faithful to it's Spanish predecessor although it does have a different motive for the outbreak.  A motive that is not as fully explained as in the original.  If you are not a fan of shaky cam it's a good bet you wont be a big fan of Quarantine.  Seeing it in the theater gave me a pretty good headache.  The effect isn't nearly as migraine inducing on the small screen.  I really can't bring any major faults to bear on the film.  Quarantine is a strong film with a capable cast lead by Jennifer Carpenter.  Carpenter is probably best known as Deb Morgan on Dexter.  Jay Hernandez of Hostel plays one of the firefighters.  While Carpenter's hysterics get a bit annoying near the end, I found them realistic under the circumstances she was in.  Seeing clips may lead you to think of her as a weak character, but she isn't.  Her role is a strong character, way out of her league and in a hopeless situation.  My only real bitch is that the promo poster and trailer give away too much.  I won't spoil it by saying more about it.  Still, while I really enjoyed Quarantine, I liked REC better.  Pretty much everything I liked in Quarantine, I liked better in REC.  The lead actress was more believable and personable as a TV host and the background cast seems less like actors and more like people filmed for a news crew.  The people in REC just looked, and behaved, more like I would expect people to look on a broadcast from a disaster.  That being said I highly recommend Quarantine, but watch REC first.

The Ninth Gate

From director Roman Polanksi and starring Johnny Depp, The Ninth Gate revolves around Depp playing Dean Corso who is basically a bounty hunter for rare books.  Frank Langella stars as Boris Balkan a wealthy collector who hires Depp to find a rare and powerful book, reputed to be written by the devil himself.  As he delves deeper into the satanic underbelly of Europe's elite, Depp gets drawn deeper into the dark side himself.  The idea of forbidden books and films that hold a power of their own has always been a popular subject with me so I admit to being a fan of this film.  I also am  a huge Johnny Depp fan and he plays the sleazy book finder  Dean Corso with his usual gusto.  The problem with The Ninth Gate is that it is just so slow.  The action is few and far between and scares are non existent.  the best parts of the film are Depp and Langella and the fact that Polanski doesn't have time to have sex with thirteen year old girls if he is busy directing.  If you go in expecting a real horror movie you will most likely be disappointed.  If you want a  fairly intelligent film or just want to indulge your Depp fix, then you might enjoy it

Ganja and Hess

Ganja and Hess is a 1973 Vampires film starring Duane Jones.  Jones is best known for his role of Ben in George Romero's classic Night of the Living Dead.  Jones plays Dr Hess Green a archaeologist studying the ancient African kingdom of Myrthia.  His assistant played by Bill Gunn, who also directs, is unstable and subject to bouts of violence.  In one of his "freak outs" he stabs Green with an ancient Mythrian dagger and becomes infected with vampirism.   After the assistant commits suicide his wife shows up searching for him and almost immediately falls in love with Hess and the two get married.  While Ganja seems more than complacent in her new vampiric lifestyle, Hess seeks release from the curse.  Playing vampirism for the most part more realistically than most films, they can walk in the sunlight and do not have fangs, they do crave blood and are essentially immortal.  Hess does eventually find his release.

Ganja and Hess is a slow moving film but thanks in large part to the acting of Jones and Marlene Clark as Ganja, the film is never boring.  It is visually very colorful and trippy fitting in with the time period it was filmed.  Not excessively gory there are some scenes of fairly explicit violence. 

At its most basic Ganja and Hess is a very unconventional vampire film.  Below the surface it is also a film about addiction, comparing the addiction of drugs to slavery.  The characters names are a not subtle hint at what this film is about, Hess being slang for hash and Ganja a common slang for marijuana.  The only cure for vampirism in Ganja and Hess is surrendering to religion.  This echos the role of religion in breaking drug addiction in real life.  While many may argue that religion is just a placebo, it is a fact that many religious organizations are active in fighting addiction.  Likewise religion was a vital part in freedom from slavery and a integral part of African American culture.

In the modern age of vampire redaction and pre-teen pablum such as Twilight, it is interesting to see a truly original take on vampirism.  Ganja and Hess is not a kiddie film as it contains nudity, sex, violence and drug use among other nasties.  Ganja and Hess belong to an era where story was more important than flash, and leading men needed talent not just emo hair and smooth skin.   If you are a true horror fan, fan of Duane Jones or just a real movie fan, do yourself a favor and check out Ganja and Hess

Chaser

My review for Chaser is up at associated Content here is an excert and link backl to the review, hope you like it

Chaser is a South Korean thriller that is bloody enough to stand up with the best horror film. Kim Yoon-Suk stars as Jung-ho, a disgraced cop turned pimp, whose girls have started to go missing. At first thinking they have simply ran away with money he had loaned them, he becomes suspicious when Mi-Jin, one of his remaining girls, goes missing.


read the whole review