Why can’t we have a proper Singles Day?

Although we celebrate Singles Awareness Day & Singles Day on 2 different dates but still it just doesn’t seem to be a proper kind of celebration. I don’t see much enthusiasm in it & most of you must not be aware of it either.

February 15 has been declared Singles Awareness Day! This is the day that all of the single people can proudly stand up and show that it is OKAY to be single! I hardly see anyone on 15 getting excited as people get all excited on the 14th even though we don’t see anything hot & happening. Moreover, Singles Day is also a Chinese pop culture holiday on November 11 for people who are still living the single life.

There are single, smart, happy people. It’s another thing we have too many typical folks who believe in suffocating ideas. It’s high time we need to promote the idea that staying single doesn’t mean you are unhappy. It means you have opportunities. You are not burdened with responsibilities. You don’t know tensions revolving around in-laws & you don’t have to worry about husband who might get interested elsewhere.

You are free & what could be more beautiful than this? If you couldn’t meet anyone compatible & fun in all these years, there might be a reason. I don’t think it should be taken as something negative. We need all kinds of people in this world.

I’m sure many of you won’t agree with me. You don’t have to. This is how I look at it. And there was a time when I believed in both love & marriage but people do change & I have. And I think typical folks have no right to throw mud at those who are not all that typical like them. I also think it’s madness on their part to use phrases as ‘no good option’ for single people. You may think you know what single people are missing but the chances are that you do not know what you are missing. Life is not all that bad. Some people may experience different pattern but it doesn’t mean you’re missing out on life.

The Science of Singles

Rachel Machacek has dated all sorts of guys. Since she’s 33 & still single, so she thought of meeting someone who was right for her. She tried online dating, single events, having her pals set her up, professional matchmakers, going on dates in other cities, consulting with a date coach & reading self-help dating books. This woman has worked really hard & she has documented all her dates in a book named The Science of Singles: One Woman’s Grand Experiment in Modern Dating, Creating Chemistry & Finding Love. Of course she met all kinds of people – the good, the bad & the very ugly.

These are some tips:

You must get rid of your checklist. The person you have created in your mind does not exist. If you cling to the list, then you won’t get anywhere. Don’t get all freaky on your date.

Rachel’s worst date was with one of the fans. She didn’t want to date him, but he read her article that she was single & looking for the right person. Her pals & colleagues pushed her to see this person. He was quite judgmental. He even invaded her personal space & didn’t take any social cues. Over all, it was a terrible date, cause the guy had pre-conceived notions.

One of the guys did find out that she was writing a book & he felt used. Rachel had been sad about that, but she says it wasn’t about guys, they weren’t the issue; the problem was with her. It was her own limitations.

Technically speaking, she thinks her book is really cool & the guys who would date her now may feel more confident with someone who writes on dating.

I think getting rid of the list & other such notions can help. Dating all kinds of guys sounds more like madness, but I believe you can find the right person only by taking risks. We think that a particular type is not okay, but usually it turns out they are fine. What I’m trying to say is that maybe the kind that likes you can be a lot better than the one you go after. Actually I don’t like the type that likes me & I haven’t been able to get this thing out of my mind. How can you live with someone of the sort?

And yeah when you’re all open about it, people are being judgmental. They think you’re totally available & you’re ready to sleep with just anyone. In fact one doesn’t even feel like talking to jerks.

As I often say it’s the people around you who make everything pretty bad. You may not even care whether you’re single or hooking around with someone. They just push you to do things. It seems staying single is some sort of a disease & people must recover from the illness.

Maybe the book is really cool, but I don’t see the point of reading a self-help book on dating & finding love. How could you create chemistry? Love is a matter of happening. If it happens, it’s awesome & if doesn’t, then it’s clearly the loss of people.

Single women prefer dogs to men

One of the studies says that more & more women are in favor of loyal & reliable companions. And a dog is more like a child substitute.

Of course we all have had discussions on such topics. Some may think it’s desperate or whatever to talk about a thing which doesn’t exist (people tend to imagine a lot when it comes to the opposite sex) but nevertheless it’s normal for single people to talk about such things. I personally know married as well as aged spinsters who want single women to stay single & they give 101 reasons.

Yeah the feeling that you are not being desired by someone of course hurts. But what makes it all the more annoying is people who keep on reminding you that you are growing old. At the same time, I don’t think single people want everyone to sympathize with them.

Most of us do get the chance to settle down; the options may not be that cool & naturally those who don’t tie the knot get to hear a lot of nasty stuff. Anyway I think those who keep cats & dogs do so as they like to be with pets. For instance, I have cats, because I like them. I certainly don’t have cats, because I’m single.

I also don’t think there is some kind of preference, cause I’d like to have a dog & a man if I could have them both. Moreover, dogs are such loyal creatures. I’ve never been able to understand the comparison between men & dogs in the first place. Pets have a very special place & no one can take that. But I don’t regard pets as substitutes for anything. If you don’t have a child or a lover or spouse, the emptiness would remain there no matter what you say to the world. What’s missing is missing. And there’s no point to give it another name.

Although I don’t see eye to eye with this study, but I’m sure they are people who think otherwise & their reasoning too could be valid. You know there’s never one way to look at a situation. However, people get offended when you don’t agree with them. I know it’s a rare thing to act as an adult.