The Cataplana Story

We talk a lot, we facebook all the time but we don’t meet that often. So, I really look forward to meeting my dearest Sara. This time I just wrote to her one fine day that it’s about time we should meet. And I don’t know what happened Sari responded positively. I think she too was really dying to meet up but I was really looking forward to it.

Before moving ahead, the history should be clear. Every time we had met, something went wrong. I remember last year on my birthday we went to some hang out place to have a chilled out time on foot just to see that the place is no longer there, then on Nadzy’s babyish request she had to eat really sad Dunkin Donuts and then we took a rikshaw ride with a crazy driver who was fighting with every car driver. We survived it though. Sari was so scared. The two of us have seen worse so we were laughing even then.

Next, I remember last year we decided to have one iftaari together. We went to a couple of places – again things didn’t go our way. We ended up in some outlet at Park Towers with a sick couple that looked so messy I almost puked looking at their dirty faces. It seemed they hadn’t taken a shower since months and that they fucked everyday wherever they could find space. We had fun but the food wasn’t good. That plan didn’t work out too.

Then, I don’t know why Sari had to treat us this other time. But we really thought this time all’s set. Timing was a bit off so our first destination hadn’t opened as yet but that day we had a really nice dinner.

Now coming back to our date yesterday. It was all true. We were actually meeting. Nadzy and I really liked some of the food at Nandos so we thought let’s just go there. I was really happy that I finally met my baby Isa :) he is too cute and adorable. Seemed a bit healthy and heavy mashallah se so I didn’t try picking him up :P But I loved his orange shirt and the way he said “Theek Thaak” I couldn’t take his pics as much as I wanted to because he was moving all the time. But I am glad I saw him this time.

So, we reached Nandos and the Cataplana experience began. I couldn’t understand why do they fit in sooooooo many people that the place becomes hot and that one can’t even breathe. Secondly, having too many customers only made the servers way too panicky I feel. Anyway, we got this really lovely table near the kitchen. Sari my darling, had to sit right next to the kitchen window. I was lucky I never got to see the kitchen. It was an ugly view I am sure. They placed those weird glasses of Tapal Ice Tea, which we never tried.

I don’t know if others have noticed this or not but we have on a couple of occasions. Just if you observe kids now have become very alike. Every body looks so identical…individuals are rare.

Anyway, the panicky server did bring the food on time thank god. The food looked pretty good. But then we started eating and it became so HOT. I couldn’t eat much it was so hot. I always have the hot chicken and it’s normally fine. But may be it was our bad table, too many people around or what it was just too sickening an experience. I did take pics though of every moment. I ate less because of the hotness factor. I literally had tears falling down my face…so I had to stop.

More importantly, Nadzy and Sara continued eating. Now, Nadzy and I ordered Cataplana, which Raza told me was an amazing dish there. So I tried it the last time I came to Nandos and really loved it. This time, as I said the experience was a bit different so it didn’t turn out the way it did previously.

Nadzy honey was eating like a child from her handi when a sweet server came and offered her a plate and the dialogues are below:

Nervous Server: Madam can you please use this plate and give me the handi?

Nadzy: Why?

Nervous Server: Madam we are out of handis so if you could use the plate we could serve another customer.

Nadzy (hot & angry): What the hell! I am still eating! First of all you make us sit in this terrible seat and now this…

Nervous Server: Ok madam please continue having your food. It’s ok. So sorry.

It was quite a weird thing to say. All customers are treated the same way. Ridiculous to ask a customer having his food to give away the dishes because you have allowed customers much more than your capacity. Normally, I feel Nadzy’s anger is difficult to control. This time I felt she should have given it to him and talked to the manager. It was wrong.

Anyway, after this Cataplana scene I had almost lost my appetite. So, I close my Cataplana dish and said anybody :P any takers now…and yes one server came running to get hold of the dish to serve another valued customer.

We ran out of there and I could feel the breeze. It was so refreshing. We ran to Forum to just splash some water on the face. And there in the loo some women were eating and drinking …god I almost puked again. I couldn’t take it no more. I ran outside that friggin rest room. It was great though. I love it when Forum has fewer people.

Next, we had some good coffee and the swiss walnut chocolate brownie. I have to admit that Espresso makes me a bit light every time I go there. Though, now it too has this Anil Kapoor time weird server who loves to roam around young girls. We took lots of pics. Sari took some really funny pics. I have already posted my collection.

I kind of shocked Nadzy and Sari when I said I want to buy something to read. A book and not a magazine for a change. But a book that’s not too thick. Not a novel. Something interesting. Something that I would finish once I start. Something that doesn’t have that killer small font. I read a bit of 101 things to do before you die :P Three really weird old men stood next to me and read out some cheap sher o shairi. They were so sick I swear…made me a bit angry. Nadzy found me a book “The Free Mind – A lateral thinking approach” by Edward De Bono and Sari said she will give me his other book “Six Thinking Hats” later. I hated contributing money to buy some book for Nadzy because she always does that.

Needless to say that I truly had a wonderful time out with Sari and Nadzy. We had amazing discussions, fits of laughter, pinch of anger, crazy pics. It was perfect with all the imperfections.

When I was little I always had one friend at every point in time. After a few years I stopped believing in best friends. The day I stopped, I started meeting amazing people…who are my greatest treasure now. The Cataplana story will be an amazing memory for me because it took place while I was with some of those amazing people.

Hugs and Love!

Diryam Gaz Day Totally (Zai-Nad Diaries)

I so had the urge to go shopping today. There was no thinking twice. It had to be a shopping day. I was so excited I even woke up early. And I told Nadzy to get her ass up too at the earliest so that all the work at home (the cleaning work she does daily of her 3000 cats) is done at the right time and we go out shopping before Brother Gilbert comes back home.

Brother Gilbert is a strange creature. Everytime Nadzy and I leave the house he has to tell us “Bhai halaat bohat kharab hain.” Ab halaat agar kharab hain tou insaan jeena tou nahi chor sakta. But Gilbert doesn’t understand this philosophy. So, we just do our thing. I mean we are quite OLD now. So what if we look like two retards.

Anyway, so we got ready to get the hell out in the irritatingly hot sunny day without any transport as usual but we are pretty ok to travel in the rickshaw, which are very easily available near our place. Actually, I have always enjoyed traveling in rickshaws since I was a kid. It’s a fun ride. Some of the bestest travel moments I have were on a rickshaw ride.

There was this particular moment which I never forget when I was in Lyceum – the craziest times and when I was a wild cat truly (and not many are aware of that phase of mine.) The only time of my life when I didn’t study at all and had absolute fun. So our crazy gang of Rabiah, Faraz, Hina, Sana, myself and may be some one else too we took a rickshaw drive to Park Towers. The rickshaw was hardly moving ahead. And we all looked and acted so crazy but all was so good.

So coming back to what happened. Nadzy and Z went out and as usual people gave us the look that we are Christians. I don’t know why everybody thinks we are Christians. So we found our ride and hit it off to our destination. Now, visiting my home Forum is a must – I mean I have kind of become addicted to that place because whenever I got really sick of stuff at work I used to get out of the office and went down for some shopping :) or get some Red Bull or Pringles and Lays.

Today, was a good economical shopping day. Firstly, we bought nothing that was not worth buying. I don’t regret buying anything and as per my goal I saved some buck too. The best part was Nadzy too was so in control of herself :P She is always the more difficult one to handle while shopping. She just falls for the silliest of stuff at times. But mostly she does end up getting what she wants … she has her ways of getting things done.

I was actually so dehydrated I had to have some drink. And Nadzy was dying of hunger. So I offered her to sit at Espresso but she refused because she suddenly had this urge to have Hot&Spicy’s garlic mayo roll and spicy fries. Nadzy never does that normally. Anyway, so we had to go down in the scorching heat. And madam Nadzy ordered and we sat behind the pillar trying to hide ourselves from the sun.

But we do know clearly we are a bit strange I swear :P No wonder people don’t get us. She ate her stuff. I ate the salad that I got from the bakery and it kinda sucked. And we got frosted brownie for Dolly (One of N’s favorite cat amongst the 3000) for her birthday celebration because apparently she loves eating sweet stuff. And then this guy and girl who worked at Forum also shared the same table with us because they had to have their lunch. It was so hot and there was no other place. I really liked the food they got especially the aloo qeema. It smelled so good :)

Then Nadzy also wanted to have ice cream from inside. She got the same old caramel crunch cone. And she even dropped some bit while eating and signaled me that she has. I so ignored her and went to some other stalls while she enjoyed the caramel. She even liked this strangely long haired dirty guy and I thought for a second this other guy with him was kind of hot. But then the moment I saw the way he was holding his shopping bag in such a faggish way I was like arghhhhhhh. What the hell! A man should just behave like a man!

We also stepped into Aashiana. Now our first goal is always to ignore these two weird Pathani brothers who are really weird. I hated them the day one of the brothers cut down a piece of dress without me even telling him to…and he said Bismillahhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then he just cut the piece. Uff I hated him and got really pissed off at this shit. Like you can’t act this way and force people to buy stuff by just cutting off the suit piece.

Anyway, we went to other shops. In one shop, I was really about to pass out so just grabbed a seat and sat next to the fan. And there was this old aunty whose daughter wanted her to buy some clothes. And both the daughter and husband were quite strange the way they were talking. The aunty looked sick and old and she was just picking stuff. Then I just left the seat and asked the old aunty to sit and her mean husband just took the seat himself without any second thoughts. I didn’t like it at all and poor aunty ufff it was so sad how lonely she looked. And both her husband and daughter were busy in their own shit. Well, I am glad we bought good stuff from this shop.

And the pathan used to say Diryam Gaz, Diryam Gaz. It meant 350…some calculation he was doing was diryam gaz, diryam gaz.

Then Nadzy saw a sleeping cat and this irritating woman sat there and started talking to the cat. It happens everytime. So annoying I swear. But like I say she doesn’t give a damn.

After this episode, we found a cng rickshaw to rush back home before Gilbert arrived. And this very musalmani driver thought we are two idiots so he kept on saying 140 kar lo bhen. We had thought we will never give him 140 rupees. Nobody charges that.

Nadzy reported I kept on talking like a crow since the ride…kaye kaye kaye kaye kaye kaye