When Narcissus died, the flowers of the field asked the river for some drops of water to weep for him.
‘Oh!’ answered the river, ‘if all my drops of water were tears, I should not have enough to weep for Narcissus myself. I loved him!’
‘Oh!’ replied the flowers of the field, ‘how could you not have loved Narcissus? He was beautiful.’
‘Was he beautiful?’ said the river.
‘And who could know better than you? Each day leaning over your bank, he beheld his beauty in your water…’
‘If I loved him,’ replied the river, ‘it was because when he leaned over my water, I saw the reflection of my waters in his eyes.’
That’s called the Disciple.
Well I read this story a couple of years ago & I was quite fascinated even then. But this is not the reason why I have shared the story with you guys today. I don’t want to talk about the story, but I want to talk about the personality disorder - Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Anyway before I talk about the disorder…I want to tell a little about Narcissus. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was an extremely beautiful man who rejected all his admirers. One of his greatest admirers was the beautiful nymph Echo. As is obvious, he fell in love with his reflection in a pool. He was finally transformed into the flower that bears his name. From this legend comes the term narcissism & it means exclusive love of self.
People often confuse self-love with narcissism, but there's a big difference between the two. The narcissist actually loves his image which he projects on others; he also suffers from low self-esteem. Some theories suggest that he wants to love whereas those who truly love and accept themselves can love others unconditionally and it's not so with the narcissist. This disorder is closely linked with self-centeredness.
Basically narcissism is defined as a pattern of traits & behaviors that signify obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others, & the egoistic & ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance & ambition. It has been said that it is mostly due to childhood abuse & trauma. It is also said that it’s quite difficult to recognize a narcissist as he/she is all the time acting & thereby projects a false image. Of course these people need help, but they rarely get diagnosed, cause they don’t go to a shrink as such.
I read somewhere that ‘the fable of Narcissus is essentially a warning about the dangers of vanity, and of always considering one’s self before others. There is a little bit of Narcissus in all of us. And if left unchecked, it can ruin us.’
Yeah it may seem weird but isn’t it amazing that someone could actually worship himself? I met this woman & she claimed that she loved herself in spite of all her faults. She specifically mentioned that she paid all her bills. Naturally who else would do that? Oh no I didn’t say that! How could I? I have manners & she wanted to deceive herself & me. Anyway then she narrated a couple of things that she did (that no one else could have done for her) & again she came back to her obsession or whatever it was. In my opinion, she wasn’t a real narcissist. She was posing to be one. And most probably, she didn’t know that it was a personality disorder. She really liked saying that she loved herself. If she was so much in love with herself, what was the need to say it aloud? This is just one example. I’m sure you all must have met characters.
About the disciple, I guess I don’t need to say anything or the charm would be lost.
‘Oh!’ answered the river, ‘if all my drops of water were tears, I should not have enough to weep for Narcissus myself. I loved him!’
‘Oh!’ replied the flowers of the field, ‘how could you not have loved Narcissus? He was beautiful.’
‘Was he beautiful?’ said the river.
‘And who could know better than you? Each day leaning over your bank, he beheld his beauty in your water…’
‘If I loved him,’ replied the river, ‘it was because when he leaned over my water, I saw the reflection of my waters in his eyes.’
That’s called the Disciple.
Well I read this story a couple of years ago & I was quite fascinated even then. But this is not the reason why I have shared the story with you guys today. I don’t want to talk about the story, but I want to talk about the personality disorder - Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Anyway before I talk about the disorder…I want to tell a little about Narcissus. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was an extremely beautiful man who rejected all his admirers. One of his greatest admirers was the beautiful nymph Echo. As is obvious, he fell in love with his reflection in a pool. He was finally transformed into the flower that bears his name. From this legend comes the term narcissism & it means exclusive love of self.
People often confuse self-love with narcissism, but there's a big difference between the two. The narcissist actually loves his image which he projects on others; he also suffers from low self-esteem. Some theories suggest that he wants to love whereas those who truly love and accept themselves can love others unconditionally and it's not so with the narcissist. This disorder is closely linked with self-centeredness.
Basically narcissism is defined as a pattern of traits & behaviors that signify obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others, & the egoistic & ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance & ambition. It has been said that it is mostly due to childhood abuse & trauma. It is also said that it’s quite difficult to recognize a narcissist as he/she is all the time acting & thereby projects a false image. Of course these people need help, but they rarely get diagnosed, cause they don’t go to a shrink as such.
I read somewhere that ‘the fable of Narcissus is essentially a warning about the dangers of vanity, and of always considering one’s self before others. There is a little bit of Narcissus in all of us. And if left unchecked, it can ruin us.’
Yeah it may seem weird but isn’t it amazing that someone could actually worship himself? I met this woman & she claimed that she loved herself in spite of all her faults. She specifically mentioned that she paid all her bills. Naturally who else would do that? Oh no I didn’t say that! How could I? I have manners & she wanted to deceive herself & me. Anyway then she narrated a couple of things that she did (that no one else could have done for her) & again she came back to her obsession or whatever it was. In my opinion, she wasn’t a real narcissist. She was posing to be one. And most probably, she didn’t know that it was a personality disorder. She really liked saying that she loved herself. If she was so much in love with herself, what was the need to say it aloud? This is just one example. I’m sure you all must have met characters.
About the disciple, I guess I don’t need to say anything or the charm would be lost.
Nadira Rahman
