Extremely sweet folks

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
Winston Churchill

Today I’m going to make innumerable enemies. However, this is not the idea that has inspired me to write down this article. Even when I mind my own business, (which I mostly do, cause I never find anyone even remotely interesting), I’ve seen people turning green. I often wonder why don’t people turn black or start eating rats.

The other day my sister mentioned about fake people in her write-up. Many could actually relate with it, which means they all have met such creatures. A reader also pointed out that these people are themselves victims. Since there are so many complexes, it’s difficult to name one for them. Fake, cunning, mean, selfish, low, jealous people are all around us. The amusing thing is…they also project themselves as nice beings. Maybe there is a need. We understand that.

There are people who know exactly what others must do. As if we give a shit to their advice. Somebody asked me recently that I must not write & think of something else. Just tell me honestly if I ask people to stop shitting for a month, would they do that for me? Of course not. By that I don’t mean writing is like shitting. Anyhow, if others ask someone to stick his/her thumb up his/her ass & rotate it, would that person do that for them? I’m sure you all know the answer. I know I ask very cute & easy questions. Now the question arises: Are we here to make others happy? Others who don’t even mean anything to us. It’s just that they believe in the word self-importance & so they presume they are very important & others too attach significance to what they are saying. The movie (The Others) just came in my mind. Wo kaun hain or was it hum kaun hain? Can’t recall the name of the Indian version of The Others. Somewhere some meaning is hidden in that movie too. Who are you? That is the pertinent question I suppose.

A friend of mine has a community in which anyone can post as long as it is original. She says that it doesn’t matter if you are pathetic at it, please try & submit your work. Here we have someone who can motivate anyone into writing. I knew a lady who used to ask me almost every week to read something that she wrote. It was always unreadable. But that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t write. Since I’m not in touch with her anymore, I’m relieved that I don’t have to read her anymore. But she has the right to say what she wants to say even if she is unreadable. As long as I’m not reading it, Excellent!

Forget about writing. Come to the most favourite sin of the Devil– vanity. I’ve seen that people feel that almost everyone is vain or feeding someone’s vanity is a piece of cake. You must have met people who call you or your photo beautiful even though you look like a ghost of yourself. I don’t know what are they trying to prove. Either they are being so nice, that they want everyone to stay happy or they think everyone is so stupid that he/she doesn’t see something cunning behind that flattering mask. Oscar Wilde told us long time ago that a mask tells us more than a face.

Then there are the sorts who go out of their way to make others feel bad. The sad part is: they usually succeed. The good thing is: they can’t succeed always. Life is happening to everyone. It teaches lessons to everyone. Some people only look cute, they can’t look sly. They are just learning the lessons. You think you can fool all the time, but you can’t hide your true cunning self forever.

There is also a kind that agrees with everything. I don’t know what to say about them. The other day somebody was asking me to define the word slut in my write-up on harassment. I think she didn’t have a dictionary at home. There is also the sort that comes up with a totally different philosophy…so much so that the philosophy is totally irrelevant from the topic being discussed. Maybe they like to act different…since they are not different. I really don’t know. It’s just that I’ve seen all sorts of clowns & attention- seekers & yes there’s also a type that thinks when you write, people should rape you. We have extremely funny people. Where are they all when real rapists, terrorists, murders, kidnappers commit heinous crimes? Maybe they are busy raping someone’s essay on the net. Why don’t they rip the real culprits apart & make it a better world?

There are people who have the courage to go beyond the ordinary. On a number of occasions, I have said that I don’t like the clergy, the fundamentalist & the crazy Taliban. I’ve noticed one thing. The best thing about this country is the educated, broad-minded Pakistanis. They don’t get scared when you tell them a new idea. They don’t even have a problem in thinking that a thing could happen, if it hasn’t happened as yet.

Oh I never answered the question. Why do I write when I must not? Actually I write for pleasure. I don’t write to earn my bread & butter. Fortunately, I don’t need to do that. I’m going to write on my blog whether people like it or not, as long as I don’t get tired. Writing is not my passion. Painting is. But you must have seen in movies that painting can drive people nuts. Am I that kind of an artist? If it would create green-eyed monsters in every corner, I might try to act that role as well someday. Just kidding. I don’t have time for such people, but bitching about them is so much fun that I thought of writing it down. If nothing else, at least it would increase 1 post. Maybe this was the only reason. Maybe this is the only reason why I write. Who knows? Nobody lives in my head.

I don’t think I have made any new enemy today. The old ones can stay where they want to stay. It’s amusing to know that they even exist.

“If a lot of fools make a lot of fuss, why should I blame myself for something that’s only natural, anyhow.” D. H. Lawrence

Since I’m not an angel, my humor won’t be that nice. Narrow souls cannot dare to admire many things. My humor somehow falls in that category. Usually the world thinks that we, Muslims, live in caves & yank out each others’ hair; we don’t know there is an international language; we don’t know as to what is right & wrong; we can’t hold opinions; we are all illiterate fools. Naturally when they meet individuals who can boldly express themselves, they ask them not to write. I can’t say intellectually, I’m thrilled to hear this. It’s not my job to reduce people to dirt; they can do that themselves; in fact, they are doing this to themselves. There are people who are passionate about writing, singing, dancing, acting, etc. They may not be good at it, but they have the right to do what they want to do…what they believe they must do. We live once. We must live it to the fullest. I just want to say to all the people out there who have been discouraged, demoralized & unjust criticized. If you come across someone who says you must not do this or that, please use your brain cells & think…Maybe you have the spark & they don’t want you to go ahead & touch your dream. This is the reason why I have scribbled this write-up. Oh I know how I write! I don’t need a thousand yes & a stupid no to know where I stand. It’s as simple as that. You can think what you like about it. It matters little to me.

“I have never wished to cater to the crowd; for what I know they do not approve, and what they approve I do not know.”
Epicurus

The Disciple

When Narcissus died, the flowers of the field asked the river for some drops of water to weep for him.

‘Oh!’ answered the river, ‘if all my drops of water were tears, I should not have enough to weep for Narcissus myself. I loved him!’

‘Oh!’ replied the flowers of the field, ‘how could you not have loved Narcissus? He was beautiful.’

‘Was he beautiful?’ said the river.

‘And who could know better than you? Each day leaning over your bank, he beheld his beauty in your water…’

‘If I loved him,’ replied the river, ‘it was because when he leaned over my water, I saw the reflection of my waters in his eyes.’

That’s called the Disciple.


Well I read this story a couple of years ago & I was quite fascinated even then. But this is not the reason why I have shared the story with you guys today. I don’t want to talk about the story, but I want to talk about the personality disorder - Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Anyway before I talk about the disorder…I want to tell a little about Narcissus. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was an extremely beautiful man who rejected all his admirers. One of his greatest admirers was the beautiful nymph Echo. As is obvious, he fell in love with his reflection in a pool. He was finally transformed into the flower that bears his name. From this legend comes the term narcissism & it means exclusive love of self.

People often confuse self-love with narcissism, but there's a big difference between the two. The narcissist actually loves his image which he projects on others; he also suffers from low self-esteem. Some theories suggest that he wants to love whereas those who truly love and accept themselves can love others unconditionally and it's not so with the narcissist. This disorder is closely linked with self-centeredness.

Basically narcissism is defined as a pattern of traits & behaviors that signify obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others, & the egoistic & ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance & ambition. It has been said that it is mostly due to childhood abuse & trauma. It is also said that it’s quite difficult to recognize a narcissist as he/she is all the time acting & thereby projects a false image. Of course these people need help, but they rarely get diagnosed, cause they don’t go to a shrink as such.

I read somewhere that ‘the fable of Narcissus is essentially a warning about the dangers of vanity, and of always considering one’s self before others. There is a little bit of Narcissus in all of us. And if left unchecked, it can ruin us.’

Yeah it may seem weird but isn’t it amazing that someone could actually worship himself? I met this woman & she claimed that she loved herself in spite of all her faults. She specifically mentioned that she paid all her bills. Naturally who else would do that? Oh no I didn’t say that! How could I? I have manners & she wanted to deceive herself & me. Anyway then she narrated a couple of things that she did (that no one else could have done for her) & again she came back to her obsession or whatever it was. In my opinion, she wasn’t a real narcissist. She was posing to be one. And most probably, she didn’t know that it was a personality disorder. She really liked saying that she loved herself. If she was so much in love with herself, what was the need to say it aloud? This is just one example. I’m sure you all must have met characters.

About the disciple, I guess I don’t need to say anything or the charm would be lost.

Nadira Rahman