Man gets 15-year sentence for incest

Although people in our part of the world prefer to stay in a state of denial but such stories do come up on the surface sometimes. Sher Zaman sexually assaulted his daughter when she was 16 year old (in 2002) & not just that he even threatened her of die consequences if anyone gets to know about that incident. Later on the girl got pregnant & gave birth to a child who was also killed by Sher Zaman & thrown into the gutter of the house.

Sher Zaman was found guilty of rape but he had been acquitted of murder due to lack of evidence. His wife Shahida is the one who filed the case against him…at least this woman had the courage to stand up against her husband. We have all kinds of fathers & mothers in the world, so I won’t say what kind of father is Sher Zaman!

Incest is a taboo subject & yet it happens every where. While I was doing my research on it, I came across some very disturbing stories & in some cases, people really don’t have a problem with it at all. They don’t mind having a relationship with a brother or father.

In one of the cases, a girl had been sexually abused by her father for years & naturally when she got pregnant, she wanted to have the baby, but both the parents forced her to have an abortion. I read a note by that girl on the net & it makes you wonder how can parents be so cruel & that was the 1^st time someone actually convinced me that abortion is not the only answer. Someone could have adopted that baby. There are many childless people. Well I still think that abortion ought to be legalized though but if you’re willing to have that baby, then it’s a different story.

It’s indeed a very depressing topic. A Malaysian friend of mine also did an extensive research on it. You’re not shocked out of your wits, you start questioning the moral values of people. How can you stay mum when someone is raped in your house? Isn’t that a sin? Aren’t we supposed to take a stand & protect the one who is weak?

Infants are being killed almost on a daily basis. No one bothers to protest or even care about those babies. All of it points out that we are indeed a very degraded race.

Real life incidents are a lot different than what we read in fiction. When we are not involved, of course it’s a lot easier to reach a conclusion or to comprehend a thing no one wants us to understand or even think about. But I would say that it was thousand times easier for me also to form an opinion about Lolita than what I have read about real people & real incidents.

What’s the worst that could happen?

What’s the worst that could happen to a person? The answer may vary from individual to individual. I wrote ‘Life in a nutshell’ as a friend is going through a terrible phase. She has been a victim of date rape. I wanted to write on date rape when I wrote on incest but I didn’t as those who read me know that some people started painting me as non-Muslim & that I’m making up stories. If I have to create stories, I’d go for something sexy. But this is reality; this is life. We have victims who haven’t recovered as yet.

I happen to know people who have been sexually abused in their childhood. I also believe that people don’t make hideous stories about themselves. I can’t even imagine what the trauma is for rape victims. And I know that people who start shouting when they hear something are those who want to stay in a state of denial. They can do that…we don’t actually care.

This is what I have gathered from here & there:

"Its victims are much more likely to know (and trust) the perpetrator involved. Victims are often 15 to 25 years old because those are the common dating years.
The effects are long term and can leave a victim's life ripped apart.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a common problem for rape survivors.

The crime effects not only the primary victim, but spreads to include significant others, friends and can even impact distant family members. The devastation for the victim can be far reaching and the conviction rate is poor because only 5% of date rapes are ever reported.

There are many situations where perpetrators don't feel their behavior has
broken the law, but according to the victim, the story is different.
Going out on a date is not automatic consent to have sex. It doesn't matter how much money was spent or what kinds of gifts were bought. Sex is not something owed in return for going on a date.

Date rapes are devastating. Not only is a date rape a violation in itself but the victim has been harmed by someone she previously trusted. It's a betrayal that makes victims have to learn to trust people all over again. This is not an easily accomplished feat.

Most people think of rapes as being done by someone jumping out from behind a bush and overpowering a victim. That is not usually the case. Approximately 42% of the rapes that happen are date rapes where the perpetrator is known to the victim.
Approximately 90% of rape victims, who knew their attacker, do not report the attack to authorities because of fear of guilt/responsibility, self blame, embarrassment, helplessness, denial, and a number of other emotional factors.

According to Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), 11% of rapes involve the use of a weapon, while 84% use force alone. Other common characteristics of a date rapist include male dominance, hostile attitudes toward women, use of force in sexual relationships, and excessive use of drugs and alcohol. The amount of prior sexual experience also plays a role in the actions of a date rapist. Date rape is also called acquaintance rape because 70% or more of victims know their attackers."


It’s obvious that the victim doesn’t recover. It’s like you love someone & that person takes undue advantage of you. We don’t live in Utopia; we live in a world where daughters, sisters, grand-children, nephews, nieces are being raped. It seems we live in a world where we shouldn’t trust anyone. And as I mentioned earlier on…there are always people who have issues with this…it cannot happen…How do they know? Are they everywhere? Or do they have some superhuman powers? These are the very people who make it difficult for victims to ever recover. On top of it, there are people who have problem with the word slut. They find it highly derogatory & discriminatory on the part of anyone who uses it. Where the fuck are they when children are being raped in their houses?

By writing this, I know I can’t make things better…the wound cannot heal & even if it does, the scar would haunt. I often wonder why bad things happen & good things don’t. And when I think of rape, man I’m like…that’s the worst thing that could happen to a person & how do these people manage to cope with it all. The idea even gives me headaches.

When I was badly plunged into the abyss of depression some 8 or 9 years ago, someone from my immediate family said to me that my mother was thinking of sending me to a mental asylum & there I would be raped & then the person started laughing. Even if I go mad, I know that my mom wouldn’t send me to any such place; she would take care of me till the end. Although my father is dead but I will say the same thing about him. Negative words can only have negative effects…jealousy can take people to any level. In all these years, I haven’t been able to forgive that person for making that statement. I was like…even if I get raped, would that make you beautiful? You stay ugly forever as your brain is ugly. The whole world can get raped but that wouldn’t give satisfaction to such creatures.

Naturally what do you expect of victims who have been through so much? I’m writing all this as I believe I can fight for all those who couldn’t fight for themselves. I’m writing this as I don’t want my friend to do anything stupid to herself as she has already suffered enough. And I’m sorry that I didn’t write on it earlier on as I was pissed off by all those creeps who presume anything & everything but never the right thing.

This has been one difficult topic for me. After reading such things, people are ready to lynch the writer but this writer doesn’t take shit from anybody. And look at the irony, they spare the culprits but they are after those who write about these horrifying stories. It seems they haven’t even been to school where we were taught in Islamyiat that when something’s wrong being done, we must stop it by force; if you can’t do that, then we must raise our voice & if we are not even capable enough of doing this, we should regard it as wrong.

This is the case in which innocent people have been wronged by those whom they trusted. If you can’t be sympathetic, it’s okay but at least don’t be an asshole.

Frenzy of the cultured

Few years ago, one learned professor, the vice-chancellor & the registrar in the Punjab University had serious issues with the word ‘rape’ used in the title of the epic poem ‘The Rape of the Lock.’ They said it was an indecent word & this book shouldn’t be a part of the curriculum. These cultured fellas regarded the word ‘rape’ as having an indecent connotation. But we all know that over-enthusiastic people never embark upon the venture of cleansing the society from the real act; so they find faults with words & call them dirty, indecent & judgmental.

Anyway, ‘The Rape of the Lock’ is one of the finest mock epic poems that relates a trivial incident & describes the theft of the heroine’s hair. It makes a good commentary on the upper-class English society of that time, which was infested with numerous follies & vices. Hence the word ‘rape’ in the title is the most appropriate one, because it depicts the emptiness of life & Alexander Pope ridicules it by choosing this particular word.

Literature offers new & creative ways to interpret the world. Different writers look at events or happenings from totally different angles, which enable them to assign different meanings to what they see or experience; as a result, they produce different descriptions of them. Those who think that Literature is just about playing with words & talking about sex need to hold their sacred views to themselves. When we need their opinions, we’ll ask for them.

Anyway, it’s just not the word ‘rape.’ People have problems with innumerable words. Lechery, desperate, sex slaves, human trafficking, incest, fuck, bastard etc etc are some of the words that can drive people nuts. I have witnessed that madness, but I don’t feel sorry for such people. Those who regard particular words as dirty, judgmental, indecent, inappropriate are most welcome not to use these words, but what’s the point of imposing their rotten views on others? We all have the right to learn things on our own. We don’t need this kind of madness; it is not just madness but it is also corrupt on the part of anyone who forces others to do what they want to do. You don’t want to use a word. Don’t use it. Why do you want others not to use it or to use it?

In fact such acts remind me of one of the slogans of the party in 1984 that says: “Ignorance is strength.” Maybe these people are inspired by the Big Brother & his lousy principles. Maybe even here the main aim is to narrow down the range of thought. When words won’t be there, people won’t be able to think.

“It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words…After all, what justification is there for a word which is simply the opposite of some other word? A word contains its opposite in itself.”

George Orwell

“In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed, will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined & all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out & forgotten.”

George Orwell

You know nothing is too coarse for my chaste pen. I often use the word fuck & it is considered unethical by many but quite frankly, I don’t give a flying fuck to it. Come to think of it, if we don’t use the word lechery, lecherous people will not be wiped out from the planet & neither would lechery. People may stop using terms such as human trafficking, but sex slaves will not disappear in thin air. Yes you can close your eyes but you can’t change the reality. By putting emphases on words like bastard or harami, you’re not contributing anything. The plight of illegitimate children wouldn’t reduce by even an inch.

I had the misfortune to work with this dysfunctional lady & she used to say that we must always use Mister & Miss when we talk to people. We shouldn’t use he/she or him/her as that is disrespectful. There are too many mad people out there & we don’t have time to know how fucked up are they anyway.

We need words to think. We need words to express ourselves. Shakespeare once said, ‘Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’

Since I’m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I don’t know what’s wrong with people who have problem with words. Either they have experienced something so bad that they can’t help being what they are. They don’t even want people to use such words that remind them of such incidents. It is some sort of disorder. I don’t think it’s a normal behaviour to impose such views on others.

If freedom is our birthright, then we can use any word we like whether the world approves of it or not. Of course there are man-made chains every where…this is a fact we can’t run away from. But to put boundaries on your thinking is I guess the worst crime a human can do to himself.

What is the meaning of this silence?

“I find mankind so odious that I should hate to have it approve of me.”
- Moliere

“We are willing to believe anything other than the truth.”
- Carlos

Nothing actually puts me in a state of shock, but right now when I’m doing my research on the cases of incest…I’m aghast at humans who keep mum about this issue. I don’t expect much of humans, cause I know they are cowards. However, I also want to know why is God silent?

In my last write up, one of my readers raised this point on the kids of Adam & Eve. We all know that Adam & Eve were not siblings. Fine. Nevertheless, their kids were & we may not like to say it, but procreation did take place. So what do we call that? A friend of mine said that religion came much later & ever since incest has been forbidden. Congratulations! We have solved the case for you.

“The only universal trait that Contemporary social scientists and historians agree has been found in every known culture is the prohibition of incest.”

You don’t fuck around with the infinite, because you can’t. However, fucking humans & kids is something that can be done. What I mean is fucking them forcefully. That is, when you have power over the other person. I think family is a place where one should feel protected, but if kids are being abused by their loved ones…it’s a little too much to take. Scars of such wounds can never heal. Scars of even little wounds don’t heal & I guess all of us know that. So, what about the victims of this heinous & ugly crime?

I read something that I would very much like to share.

“Boys as well as girls are reported as being masturbated and raped by the men in the family, including fathers, older brothers, uncles and cousins. By the time children are four or five, they are usually taken to bed at night by others in the extended household. "A particular uncle may like her to sleep in his room, which is considered a great gesture of closeness." As one girl describes it: "I hardly ever slept with my parents after I was four. I rotated almost every night between my various uncles and sometimes my grandmother. But it was difficult to have any space in her bed, because all the grandsons slept in her bed.. So I preferred to sleep in [uncle's] bed, who was very nice and put his arms around me in winter."

I seriously had the urge to puke. I mean what the hell is this? Who puts up with this obnoxious behaviour? But the fact is…people do & that is saddening, to say the least. And don’t ask me in which country, this thing has happened. It happens everywhere. It’s another thing that people want to stay in a state of denial. It suits them so much.

It’s another case of a female who has been raped 1st by her elder brother & then by her father…not once, but for many years.

“A case is reported of a female victim of paternal incest, who had also been raped repeatedly by her elder brother for two years. A survey of the literature showed no other report of such a case from Turkey. This does not necessarily mean that the incidence of paternal and sibling incest does not happen, but may indicate that incestuous abuse is not reported or handled without making it known to legal authorities.

The victim was first raped by her 16 year-old brother when she was 9 years old. He raped her repeatedly over a period of two years, until he left home. Her father began raping the victim when she was 13 year-old, leaving her pregnant at age 15. He took her to a doctor for a termination of pregnancy. The father continued abuse after the termination. The victim left home to marry a man. The father filed a lawsuit against the man for taking the victim away from home.”

1st they commit a sin & a blatant violence against any human & then they have the audacity to file suit against the victim. You must have heard about the Cellar incest case. An Austrian woman was kept prisoner & abused by her own father for 24 years in a basement.
“Her 73-year-old father, Josef confessed that he held his now 42-year-old daughter captive for 24 years in a concealed, windowless basement hideout, where he repeatedly had sexual intercourse with her and where she gave birth to seven of his children.”
There are many families who might not be aware that someone is being sexually abused & there are also families who are aware of it, & yet they are embarrassed to seek help, so they stay silent. Fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers could be the one abusing the child, but mothers also play a vital role by hiding this under the carpet.

“Incest has become the norm in certain homes. Siblings, who are in mutual agreement, are indulging in sexual activities."

This case is also one of its kind:

“The father of the well-respected family was a priest at the local church. He had two sons and two daughters. The father refused to send his daughters to school, instead insisting on educating them at his office attached to the church. The two older sons were allowed to go to school, but their father instructed them to have sexual intercourse with the daughter every afternoon. If they did not do so, he beat them and called them sissies. The father also sexually abused his youngest daughter in the park every day. The mother did not accept that her husband was capable of such behaviour. Charges were laid, but were withdrawn by the mother. The children were removed from the parents into foster care.”

Another question that pops up is whether abortion justifiable in cases of rape or incest. I don’t know the answer myself. Some say it is & some say that those children could be the answer for all those childless parents. But I read about this case of a girl who was repeated raped by her father whenever he wanted or lusted. What a bastard for a father! Anyway, it all started when she was 15 year old. By the time, when she was 19, she got pregnant. At the hospital, her father called her all sorts of names for getting pregnant. This girl didn’t want to have an abortion, but she was forced to have one. This is what she said:

“I was told that an abortion would solve my problem, when it was never really the problem in the first place.
I was told, "Your parents know what's best," when they obviously were only concerned about their own reputations.
I was told, "You make the right decision," when I was never given a choice. More importantly, where was my baby's choice?
I was violated and betrayed over and over by my father, who God created to love and protect me. I was humiliated, hurt, and yes, violated again by the abortionist.”
Naturally, I don’t see any solution to this problem. Even if we form better laws, would people come & seek help? I don’t think so. People are more concerned about their reputation. We’ve heard this crap for centuries: ‘Larki ghar ki izzat hai.’ But the fact is nobody has time to respect that girl.

Many a time, I’ve read that most abusers are the ones who have been molested in their childhood. I don’t see the justification. Just because you have been abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse others. But we all know that innocence is being murdered on a daily basis.

Jodi Picoult very aptly said:
“Silence is just a quieter way to lie.”

I don’t know how incestuous is incest. But I don’t need to see it written in my Holy Book or on the statute book to know a thing is wrong. Rape is wrong no matter from what fucking angle you look at it. A thing that destroys life cannot be great. A thing that leaves scars for eternity cannot be tolerated. And yes where is God when this happens to anyone, be it a kid or an adult? Why is He silent? Humans can stay silent. They are despicable, to the core. That’s the best they can do.
Anyhow, we were just discussing incest. It’s a common thing that children are also being molested by servants, which include both men & women. Servants have also been involved in sexual harassment of adults. Even then people maintain silence. I’ve read that 9 month old girl was repeatedly rape. Girls & boys of 5 & 6 years of age are being raped & killed. Women in our country have been gang-raped & that was the decision of some fucking panchayat (parallel justice system).

It seems humans are fond of silence when others around them are being sexually & emotionally abused. Abuse of any kind has a bad effect on the person. Many a time, you abuse a person with your words. That is called psychological abuse. So in a way, all those who are using evil & degenerated words to hurt others also rape. And all those who put up with any kind of abuse…I just want to say one thing to you…I don’t know if you can grasp it or not. And it may seem ruthless, cause I don’t exactly know the pain of victims. I’m mad, cause I know people who have suffered & they haven’t recovered as yet. Anyway, your silence is your crime. Whatever you choose today make sure you don’t have to regret it tomorrow. I hope God comes to the aid of all those who are waiting for Him.

Nadira Rahman

You just can’t see through every wall & you just can’t

This has been one of my very controversial writings. I’ve tried to touch some sensitive issues with an open mind. Before I start off my discussion, I want to tell a short story.

One day a pastor went walking in the country & saw a cow looking over the wall. As he stood looking at the cow, he was approached by a member of his church who asked him, ‘Is something wrong, pastor?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’m having troubles.’
The farmer said, ‘Pastor, look at the cow. What’s the cow doing?’
‘She’s looking over the wall.’
The farmer said, ‘Why do you think she’s looking over the wall.’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘She’s looking over the wall because she can’t see through it.’

Moral: There are lots of problems that can’t be solved.

I guess we all have come against some walls that we couldn’t see through. When solutions don’t exist or can’t be found for whatever reason, what should be done? Since life goes on, just like any practical person, we shouldn’t give a shit to it. That’s going to be quite a convenient choice, but there is one problem: it may prick your conscience, if it’s still intact. Naturally I need to talk on it.

I scribbled this passage of Bertrand Russell in one of my writings & I had been lynched by my best people.

“Suppose atomic bombs had reduced the population of the world to one brother & sister; should they let the human race die out? I do not know the answer, but I do not think it can be in the affirmative merely on the ground that incest is wicked.”

It’s the job of philosophers & writers to raise questions, but that doesn’t mean common man shouldn’t use his brain cells at all. I don’t know if human race has all the answers, but questions must be raised. Bertrand Russell is one of my mentors & when people label him as some sick philosopher, I don’t like it. These are the same people who sit back in their houses when they hear cases of incest & rape. Do they think that women & children gain something by creating such awful myths about themselves? Are they attention- seekers or what? Do they get some sort of happiness by besmearing their own life?

In one of the schools in Pakistan, male prostitution was carried on by teachers for 20 years & 20 years is a pretty long time. Students were molested, blackmailed & then they were prostituted. When the case came out in the newspapers, there were people saying that teachers couldn’t be involved in this filthy act. How very convenient!

I read somewhere:

“The most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is considered a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest.”

We have convenient answers in our society. Women can’t molest a child. Fathers, uncles, aunties & grandparents can’t molest a child. How can they? We just can’t. That’s what we tell ourselves, cause we like to deceive ourselves. So, my question is: who does this? Ghoulish, morbid, scary creatures from hell! Oh yes Mr. Satan is responsible for every evil. But what about humans? What role do they play? They are only victims. Then who is the culprit?

I also read this piece in which this woman says that she kind of loved this incestuous relationship with her brother for years & she also says there is a difference between abuse & consensual incest. She thoroughly enjoyed it for years & so did her brother. Now I’m not saying that she is right or wrong. I just want to highlight the point that only she could have made: there is a difference between abuse & consensual incest.

The other thing that I want to talk about is black magic. In case if you are too ignorant as to what is black magic, let me tell you one of the definitions that would make it easier for you to understand:

“Black magic would be invoked to kill, to steal, to injure, to cause misfortune or destruction, or for personal gain without regard to harmful consequences to others.”

So, it’s a kind of harmful sorcery associated with the worship of Satan. But who does that worship? Someone who is more inclined to settled quarrels by resorting to such means. I’ve heard that in this century (in which we are very, very modern), people cannot practice black magic. Doctors will immediately give you the answer that it is some kind of disease. Alright. If spells aren’t being cast on anyone, then why do we have Surah Falak & Surah Naz in the Holy Quran? There ought to be a reason, I suppose. Or maybe we accept one thing that suits us & discards another that doesn’t.

Bertrand Russell very beautifully said:

“As soon as we abandon our own reason, and are content to rely upon authority, there is no end to our trouble. Whose authority? The Old Testament? The New Testament? The Koran? In practice, people choose the book considered sacred by the community in which they are born, and out of that book they choose the parts they like, ignoring the others.”

Surah Falak:

Say ‘I take refuge with the Lord of the Daybreak
From the evil of what He has created,
From the evil of darkness when it gathers,
From the evil of women who blow on knots,
From the evil of an envier when he envies.’

Envy can drive one jealous being to any extent. Don’t people murder & throw acid? Don’t people rape & gang-raped? People can stoop down to any level. People go beyond the boundaries, when they want to hurt others. People become damn creative when they inflict pain on others. When people want others to suffer, nothing stands in their way.

It is also very clearly written in Surah Taha:

‘Fear not; surely thou art the uppermost. Cast down what is in thy right hand, & it shall swallow what they have fashioned; for they have fashioned only the guile of a sorcerer, & the sorcerer prospers not, wherever he goes.’

We don’t believe a person who says he’s a victim of black magic, because black magic is something ancient. It cannot happen now. Science has an answer & no, we have no time to think about possibilities with an open mind.

Henrik Ibsen said, ‘I think we are sailing with a corpse in the cargo.’

Human mind hasn’t progressed & if you think, it has, then you’re surely mistaken. Forget about going beyond the passages of Mr. Russell, people don’t even see what’s in front of them. They just want convenient answers & they grab them & go on. That’s why they don’t live; they only exist & occupy space. I’m sure that too is convenient.

The 3rd issue that I want to talk about is that of sluts. How they are being treated in this society! Now we don’t know how does a woman land in that gutter, but we call her foul names. Can all those people who call them names provide them respect in the society? No, they wouldn’t dream of it. In fact the word ‘slut’ is taken as an abuse. I will again quote my favourite philosopher, Bertrand Russell:

“The prostitute has the advantage, not only that she is available at a moment's notice, but that, having no life outside her profession, she can remain hidden without difficulty, and the man who has been with her can return to his wife, his family, and his church with unimpaired dignity. She, however, poor woman, in spite of the undoubted service she performs, in spite of the fact that she safeguards the virtues of wives and daughters and the apparent virtue of church-wardens, is universally despised, thought to be an outcast, and not allowed to associate with ordinary people except in the way of business.”

The issues that I have discussed today are mind-boggling & thought provoking. Please go beyond what I’ve written. Possibility is always there. These are walls that we can’t see through. We don’t have solutions. It has been quite a sensitive write-up. And I have been scared that I won’t do justice to it. I’ve said what I wanted to say. In the process, if I have hurt the sentiments of anyone, I’m sorry. I really am, but I can’t stay quiet like everyone else.

Nadira Rahman