What’s the worst that could happen to a person? The answer may vary from individual to individual. I wrote ‘Life in a nutshell’ as a friend is going through a terrible phase. She has been a victim of date rape. I wanted to write on date rape when I wrote on incest but I didn’t as those who read me know that some people started painting me as non-Muslim & that I’m making up stories. If I have to create stories, I’d go for something sexy. But this is reality; this is life. We have victims who haven’t recovered as yet.
I happen to know people who have been sexually abused in their childhood. I also believe that people don’t make hideous stories about themselves. I can’t even imagine what the trauma is for rape victims. And I know that people who start shouting when they hear something are those who want to stay in a state of denial. They can do that…we don’t actually care.
This is what I have gathered from here & there:
"Its victims are much more likely to know (and trust) the perpetrator involved. Victims are often 15 to 25 years old because those are the common dating years.
The effects are long term and can leave a victim's life ripped apart.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a common problem for rape survivors.
The crime effects not only the primary victim, but spreads to include significant others, friends and can even impact distant family members. The devastation for the victim can be far reaching and the conviction rate is poor because only 5% of date rapes are ever reported.
There are many situations where perpetrators don't feel their behavior has
broken the law, but according to the victim, the story is different.
Going out on a date is not automatic consent to have sex. It doesn't matter how much money was spent or what kinds of gifts were bought. Sex is not something owed in return for going on a date.
Date rapes are devastating. Not only is a date rape a violation in itself but the victim has been harmed by someone she previously trusted. It's a betrayal that makes victims have to learn to trust people all over again. This is not an easily accomplished feat.
Most people think of rapes as being done by someone jumping out from behind a bush and overpowering a victim. That is not usually the case. Approximately 42% of the rapes that happen are date rapes where the perpetrator is known to the victim.
Approximately 90% of rape victims, who knew their attacker, do not report the attack to authorities because of fear of guilt/responsibility, self blame, embarrassment, helplessness, denial, and a number of other emotional factors.
According to Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), 11% of rapes involve the use of a weapon, while 84% use force alone. Other common characteristics of a date rapist include male dominance, hostile attitudes toward women, use of force in sexual relationships, and excessive use of drugs and alcohol. The amount of prior sexual experience also plays a role in the actions of a date rapist. Date rape is also called acquaintance rape because 70% or more of victims know their attackers."
It’s obvious that the victim doesn’t recover. It’s like you love someone & that person takes undue advantage of you. We don’t live in Utopia; we live in a world where daughters, sisters, grand-children, nephews, nieces are being raped. It seems we live in a world where we shouldn’t trust anyone. And as I mentioned earlier on…there are always people who have issues with this…it cannot happen…How do they know? Are they everywhere? Or do they have some superhuman powers? These are the very people who make it difficult for victims to ever recover. On top of it, there are people who have problem with the word slut. They find it highly derogatory & discriminatory on the part of anyone who uses it. Where the fuck are they when children are being raped in their houses?
By writing this, I know I can’t make things better…the wound cannot heal & even if it does, the scar would haunt. I often wonder why bad things happen & good things don’t. And when I think of rape, man I’m like…that’s the worst thing that could happen to a person & how do these people manage to cope with it all. The idea even gives me headaches.
When I was badly plunged into the abyss of depression some 8 or 9 years ago, someone from my immediate family said to me that my mother was thinking of sending me to a mental asylum & there I would be raped & then the person started laughing. Even if I go mad, I know that my mom wouldn’t send me to any such place; she would take care of me till the end. Although my father is dead but I will say the same thing about him. Negative words can only have negative effects…jealousy can take people to any level. In all these years, I haven’t been able to forgive that person for making that statement. I was like…even if I get raped, would that make you beautiful? You stay ugly forever as your brain is ugly. The whole world can get raped but that wouldn’t give satisfaction to such creatures.
Naturally what do you expect of victims who have been through so much? I’m writing all this as I believe I can fight for all those who couldn’t fight for themselves. I’m writing this as I don’t want my friend to do anything stupid to herself as she has already suffered enough. And I’m sorry that I didn’t write on it earlier on as I was pissed off by all those creeps who presume anything & everything but never the right thing.
This has been one difficult topic for me. After reading such things, people are ready to lynch the writer but this writer doesn’t take shit from anybody. And look at the irony, they spare the culprits but they are after those who write about these horrifying stories. It seems they haven’t even been to school where we were taught in Islamyiat that when something’s wrong being done, we must stop it by force; if you can’t do that, then we must raise our voice & if we are not even capable enough of doing this, we should regard it as wrong.
This is the case in which innocent people have been wronged by those whom they trusted. If you can’t be sympathetic, it’s okay but at least don’t be an asshole.
