This is a scenic shot of one of my granite customers in the Bahamas.
It made me realize that our work lives are a small portion of why we’re here on this planet. Many people would trade the fifty years in the system for a few short years living on an island paradise eating grapes.
Hopefully in our lives, we’ll all have the opportunity to sample both at one time or another.
I miss the Bahamas so much. I’d love to just live there forever. I will go back to Atlantis one day!
Yesterday night I posted a picture of the view of one of my client’s houses in Nassau in the Bahamas.
Later the next day, we found that one of his employees had been taken to jail for possessing a gun. He was 19 years old and as we drove up to the worker’s driveway I had a sinking feeling.
We sat and drank tea with his mother while Indian music blasted behind us. Without his work she would not be able to survive. The money we dropped off, which I originally thought was “bail money” was actually to bribe the sheriff to let him go.
Outside no less than a dozen young kids played while eating from closed-cell extruded polystyrene foam containers.
His worker was out of jail by the end of lunch time.
I spent a good chunk every summer of my childhood (and adolescence, and adulthood) on the beaches and in the mud-green waters of the Atlantic, near Maryland and Delaware.Honestly, I’ve always felt lucky to be 3 hours away from a beach, regardless of the quality of food and entertainment (*cough* Ocean City, Maryland, is awful *cough*).And while I’ve spent some time on the West Coast on some fantastic beaches by L.A. (Hermosa and Laguna, to name two,) it wasn’t until this summer that I went to a place where the sands and waters are of the color and clarity we dream about when we hear the word “beach.”
The Riu Palace on Paradise Island is an all-inclusive resort, which basically boils down to all you can eat and all you can drink.At first, this might seem like a disaster of an idea.After all, how many solid buffets seem to exist outside of Vegas?(Answer: probably a bunch of them, I just haven’t been there.)Most of the time a buffet is a heap of mediocrity, brimming with macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and soggy fries.
I am happy to report that the quality of food offered by the Riu for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is fantastic.Breakfast and dinner are hosted in the roomy, high-ceilinged Atlantic room, while lunch is hosted in the more casual Bahamas room. The spread put out by the kitchen is somewhat of a spectacle, offering dish after dish of beautifully arranged, freshly prepared foods.If you aren’t happy with the scrambled, sunny-side up, over-easy, poached, or hard-boiled eggs that are constantly being cooked up every morning, you can always head on over to the omelet station to having something more to your liking.Your breakfast staples are all there, along with a few Bahamian offerings in the mix (mostly involving cassava, which is delicious).Dinner offerings rotated on a nightly basis and featured some outstanding themes.At 6:30 every night, the staff throws open the doors with their own cheering and applause, soon to be joined by the guests who are about to savor the work that has been put in all afternoon.Make sure you don’t miss Greek night, which has endless dishes of gyro meat, kofta, chicken kebabs, hummus, tzatziki, and moussaka.This, of course, doesn’t include the platters of marinated olives, the towering dish of Greek salad, the grilled fish selections, the carving station’s offering, the nightly trio of Bahamian dishes, hearts of palm salad—hell, I could list a hundred more dishes, so I’ll stop because I think you get the picture.Bonus points are awarded for the fact that NOT ONCE did they offer macaroni and cheese.
If the buffet isn’t to your liking, you can always opt to make a reservation at one of the four themed restaurants in the resort, instead.There’s a steakhouse (easily the best of the bunch), an attempt at old school gourmet (offering dishes like duck a l’orange), a Japanese spot (passable, but offering portions that sent me wandering over to the buffet immediately afterwards), and a fusion restaurant (I didn’t eat there, due to my reservation coinciding with Greek night).
So, I think 400 words about food is enough.Let’s hit the beach.
The sand is a blinding white, the water is a glassy emerald green, and schools of angel fish will dart past your feet without a hint of fear.In short, it’s amazing.The heat is a little intense at times.To borrow the recent words of a good friend, there are times when you want to reach up and swat at the sun because it feels too close.The plus side is that the ocean is the right amount of cool where it’s easy to walk right in and feel instantly refreshed.You won’t find big waves on Paradise Island.What you get is a laid-back, bobbing flow—the kind that lends itself to floating on your back for pretty much as long as you want. It’s hard to deal with the fact that in a few weeks I’ll be back in the cold, nasty Delaware surf.
The only downside to the beach at the Riu is the swarm of jet-ski hawkers that line the coast.If going out on a jet ski, banana boat, or parasail is your thing, you’ll have easy access.If it’s not your thing, you’ll still be propositioned a few times each hour.It’s annoying, so if you’re looking to get away, you can always hit the pool.
After a little research, I found that pretty much every Riu outside of Paradise Island has a pool that might have been designed by a team of artists.The one at my place wasn’t anything to write home about, but that was okay by me.I’ve never understood people who go to an island and want to stay in a pool instead of the ocean, which is why I never spent more than five minutes in the Riu’s pool (and that was to swim up to the bar and order a ho-hum Kalik beer for the sole reason of saying I ordered something from the pool bar.)
One of the Riu’s advantages is that it’s right next door to the Atlantis resort that dominates Paradise Island.Think of Atlantis as a lost Disney park and you’ll have a grasp on what it’s like.It’s part casino, part aquarium, part water park, part high-end shopping, and part private beach.I spent a day there and made my through pretty much every corner of their property.Their beaches and inlets are spectacular and completely free of anyone trying to sell you a jet-ski ride.I also firmly stand by the statement that the day I can’t have fun in a water park is the day that I’m not fit to be a teacher anymore and I’m happy to report that my brother and I hit the body slides and flume rides and acted like we were 10 again.
You can also try your luck in the Atlantis casino playing games like “Oops, there goes my money” and “Hey, why am I broke?”Sure, other people call them “blackjack” or “roulette” but they all pretty much work the same way.Another great game to play is “watch people burn through twenty thousand dollars in thirty minutes because they have more money than you and, really, that’s just pocket change compared to what they really have in their bank accounts.”Fun times.
The Riu was a great place on a great island filled with great food and great people.You’ll walk away with a tan, some minor and/or major sunburn, and a huge appetite that takes days to get back to normal.
Hello anybody who is reading this; just yesterday I came home from Atlantis, Bahamas. I took many pictures there because it was very beautiful! Everything was a photo op; however, I took too many photos to post them all… That is why I am going to post a few. Maybe more to come. Ask me whatever questions you have about the Bahamas! I’ve been there three times before, so I know all about Atlantis!
I love that feeling when you realize that life could not get any better…
i know i look retarded but i love the water :D
The stairs outside my house, yep :)
Fun Times
a lonely 18-year-old virgin with a messy room, an empty stomach, sexual frustration, time to kill, and a boyfriend who is in the Bahamas.
Okay, so I’ve decided I really need to re-arrange my lifestyle. I’ve haven’t been treating myself kindly lately, and am consumed by only negative thoughts of my well-being. Due to these persistent, harmful internal focuses, I’m going to try to alter aspects of my life to, hopefully, over time, benefit my perspective of myself.
Beginning changes:
·Diet
·Sleeping habits
·Physical exercise
I think focusing on only 3 unhealthy behaviours in my life at the moment will allow me to put all my efforts into these factors without feeling overwhelmed. Working on these unhealthy factors in my life will take some time, so initially; I’m going to be working rather slowly.
Although, I am worried about my motivation but doing health science courses at uni have helped me realise that rewards really aid in continuing a changed behaviour. Instead of rewarding myself with unhealthy foods (as I usually do), every couple of weeks or so, if I persist in my behaviour changes, I could buy myself something small, such as a bracelet or a ring. It’s not much but I think that will help my enthusiasm and determination.
What are SideEffects and recovery from a lumbar puncture, spinal tap http://bit.ly/czJbjR health
For the average person happiness is a choice, yet numerous people are unhappy. There are many reasons, but it all boils down to one simple principle: They choose something else over happiness. Because it often takes less effort to be unhappy.
For example, instead of seeking happiness, they…
Lazily follow the path of least resistance.
Refuse to accept change.
Aimlessly try to control the uncontrollable.
Etc. etc. etc.
Averting these poor choices and the negative attitudes that accompany them is the key. The list below will give you some ideas on how to do just that.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln
1. Lack of meaning in one’s day to day life.
Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.” With the modern 9 to 5 work schedule it’s so easy to trap yourself into doing what you don’t want to do for 40 hours every week and then mindlessly waste all your free time being lazy.
Sure you have responsibilities. And no, you won’t be able to do what you want to do every waking minute of your life. But you almost always have a choice to do more of what you really want to do – to work on something that matters to you – something that moves you and gives your life meaning.
You must leave time to follow your inner curiosity and passion.
2. Obsession with the past or future.
Right now is life. If you dwell on things that happened in the past, or obsess yourself too much with the things that might happen in the future, you’ll miss everything.
Focus on the present, not yesterday or tomorrow. As Helen Keller once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
Oftentimes we fixate our minds on the way things can be, should be, or will be someday. But life always takes place in the present. You never know what the future holds – whether or not you and your loved ones will still have good health or even be alive. The opportunity to enjoy life is now. Make time to do so.
3. Feeling out of shape and unhealthy.
Remember, your health is your life, and your body is the greatest tool you’ll ever own.
If you are a little overweight, cut back on some of the fatty foods, get outside and take a two mile walk every day. Losing extra body fat decreases your health risks, makes you look and feel better, and generally increases your self-esteem and happiness.
Don’t go on binge diets and crash exercise regimens. Instead, gradually change the way you eat and live so you create new health habits that can be sustained for a lifetime.
4. Unfavorably comparing oneself to others.
When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop! Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess. Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.
The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there, you might have a new destination in mind.
Instead, appreciate where you are and what you have right now. Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive. Hopefully it opens your eyes to all the things you should be grateful for. PS: Help people who have less if you’re able… you’ll see why.
5. Focusing on negatives.
You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. For instance:
Did you get catch a head cold? At least it’s only a temporary virus and nothing life-threatening.
Did you lose a basketball game? Thankfully you got to spend the afternoon with friends doing something fun and healthy.
Did your stock market savings go down? It’ll bounce back in the long-term. And besides, it’s great that you’ve been diligent and fortunate enough to save a nest egg of savings when many people are barely making ends meet.
You get the idea — almost everything in life has a positive side, and focusing on these positives injects happiness into your atmosphere. So stop concentrating on how difficult things are and why you don’t want to do them. Focus instead on the benefits these things have and the opportunities they will create for you — the positives.
6. Avoiding personal accountability.
Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.
You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. You must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
7. Perfectionism and fear of failure.
If you work hard, do your best and then condemn yourself for not achieving perfection, you’re sabotaging your future. Likewise, if your fear of failure, or of not being perfect, has driven you to take the safe road of doing nothing, you have already failed.
Perfect is the enemy of good. Learn to accept the good – learn to love things when they are less than ‘perfect.’
If you find yourself at a point of intense decision making where you’re caught in a spiral of over-analysis and you’re making no progress, take a deep breath, break the spiral, make an educated guess on the next logical step, and take it. Even if you get it wrong you’ve learned something, which is better than doing nothing. Your failures along the road to your goals are simply opportunities to learn and grow.
Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists; it rewards people who get things done.
8. A low self-esteem.
Don’t belittle yourself and don’t put up with people who try to belittle you.
Marcus Aurelius once said, “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” Boost your self-esteem by recognizing your accomplishments and celebrating them. Acknowledge your positive qualities, and when you come across a quality in yourself that you aren’t proud of, don’t sulk in your sorrows, proactively work on correcting it. How you view yourself and your world are conscious choices and habits. The lens you choose to view everything through determines how you feel about yourself and everything that happens around you.
9. Financial debt.
The only way to get out of debt is to understand why you’re in debt in the first place.
But the sad truth is, if you’re a spendthrift…
You will not save money when you get your next raise. You will not save money when your car is paid off. You will not save money when your kids are supporting themselves someday. And you wouldn’t even save a dime if I handed you $100,000 in cash right now.
How do I know this?
Because saving money has very little to do with the amount of money you have. In fact, you will only start to save money when saving becomes an emotional habit – when you start treating the money you handle everyday differently.
In general, live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means.
10. All work and no play.
Fun is way underrated. With all of our responsibilities, fun seems like an indulgence. It shouldn’t be. It should be a requirement. Ponder what you did to have fun when you were younger and go do it again. Leave the house messy and the yard un-mowed for a weekend and get out on the town. When you’re older, you will remember the fun, not the clean house or yard.
Go to a carnival, play a card game, shoot darts with a friend, play catch with a kid, etc.
Make time for fun!
11. Neglecting personal relationships.
The quality of our personal relationships correlates directly with our overall sense of worth and happiness. Sometimes in the midst of life’s chaos we forget to do the little things that remind us we’re part of something greater than ourselves. We need a certain amount of meaningful contact with other people to feel fully alive.
Make time for people, even if it’s just a quick meal at lunchtime. It’s worth sacrificing a few minutes here and there to experience life outside your own inner bubble.
And remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
12. Procrastination.
Nothing is so draining and stressful as the eternal presence of an unfinished task.
There are plenty of ways to sabotage your personal happiness, dreams and desires. Procrastination, however, is the number one killer. Procrastinators self-destruct. They hinder their own potential by placing colossal road-blocks along the path to happiness and success. In other words, they subconsciously choose to fail.
Do you put off doing things that would bring you closer to your desired goals? I know I do at times. But why are we so foolish?
It has something to do with how our daily responsibilities overwhelm us. In the midst of all the important things we know we need to do, we somehow convince ourselves that none of these things need to be done right now. In other words, we decide that some peace and relaxation in the short term is what’s most important.
So we take another break, read another blog post, watch another TV show and just kick back and relax. And life is blissfully dandy… for a little while. But then suddenly the inevitable deadline has arrived. Ahhh! It’s panic time!
By taking the time and initiative to understand your own reasons for procrastinating and devoting a little energy to take the necessary steps to move forward, you can beat procrastination. We all can. In fact, simply writing this article was a testament to this. I kept procrastinating on writing it because I lacked focus. So I locked myself in my bedroom, eliminated all distractions, kept the end in mind and started writing. And as usual, starting was the hardest part. Now I’m done.
Types of hallucinations and their clinical significance http://dld.bz/rg4G health
Please keep me in your prayers this week as I was just notified by the hospital that a mass was found in one of my lungs. I am awaiting a CT scan in order to find out whether or not the mass in cancerous. I am hopeful, but so scared.
this (thursday) evening, the ONE campaign is premiering their movie “vodoo and vaccines in benin, africa” via facebook. the movie can be viewed at 20:00 (CET) through this facebook app (corresponding fb event).
the movie is about current medical practices in benin that bring together traditional healers and modern doctors to give children access to life-saving vaccines.
the interesting part is that they decided to do this via facebook instead of just launching a website at a certain time, or a video on youtube/vimeo. i wonder who’s consulting them.
Tesco mistake leads to beer rush
An error which slashed the price of beer and cider led to a stampede of customers at a number of Tesco supermarkets in Scotland.
A deal offering three boxes of various alcoholic drinks for £20 was going through the tills at three for £11.
Police were called to Tesco in Greenock after heavy congestion was reported in the car park as customers rushed to get the deal…
News of the error spread quickly from about 1900 BST, with many people posting messages on social networking sites…
One customer said the situation was “bedlam” as people phoned their friends and some went home to change clothing to come back and buy more beer.
BBC News, 1 June 2011
know a person who has stopped alcohol with sudden confusion and seeing abnormal things. Seek medical help. http://bit.ly/bYRrSr health
MH, The biggest thing for me: an app called NTC. It helps so much. It gives you a full work out. And it’s really fun. You work out for fun goals. Trust me. Check it out.
This goes for all Journalers trying to be more fit.
Weezy: Cool. Hey, Journalers, why not go onto the social network and recommend apps that you love?!
We all win when we give a decent attempt to succeed. The question becomes, are you truly giving it a decent attempt? I mean, a truly decent attempt in which you know deep down you really tried.
Stars, Millstatt, Austria (by eyeCatchLight Photography)
EUROPEAN SMASH TOUR | Stra?burg
We started making our way to Stra?burg and we stopped at a Convent to learn about a nun’s daily life, it quite interesting. I went to a school, where there were monk’s all over the place, so it was nice to hear about a nun’s daily life. She was super cute, she sang and everything.
This day was a long day of traveling, it was quite tiring, by the time it was dinner, I was not having it. We went to this medieval dinner thing, as you can see in the picture above, pretty much explains how my night was. So much bullshit that night, justtttttttt NO! I got locked up twice, one for not serving the men and switching my headdress. I barely ate that night because I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.
Luckily our hotel was really nice and had a sauna, it put me in a much better mood!
EUROPEAN SMASH TOUR | Stra?burg
Here’s another pic of the bullshit night ;)
EUROPEAN SMASH TOUR | First Game •
WE WON!
EUROPEAN SMASH TOUR | Dinner w/ the opponents
Dinnertime was fun, everything after that got a bit weird. One of the guys from the basketball team (the Austrian team), he was more of the outgoing ones and came and talked with everyone at my table, it was pretty fun. He bought a round a Jagermeister and beer for everyone at the table and he taught us a drinking game, sort of. It’s more of like if you’re caught drinking your beer with your dominant hand, you have to chug the rest of your drink.
After dinner, we all went to this club/bar place called Mammia Mia, there was some crazy shit going on in there. People were a bit too touchy and it was a little much for me, I just wanted to get out of there.
So it was an interesting night for sure, maybe not my favorite, but interesting for sure.
i am scared for them to find something wrong with me. but even more than that, i am scared that they won’t find anything, that i will have no answers, and that i will just feel like crap for the rest of my life.
trying to patiently wait and not stress is something i struggle with.
Yeah, so I think I’m gonna do this Merrell Down& Diry National Mud Run thing when it comes through RVA.
Asides from the fact that it is probably the best excuse ever to get dirty, it looks like it’ll be super fun.
And it’s the motivation I need to go to they gym and start getting in shape.
5K evens out to about 3 miles.
My eventual pre-academy goal is to be able to do a 5 minute mile. I know I won’t be there by August, but honestly, I need some sort of motivation and this thing costs money. So if I pay the reg. fee I will feel compelled to do it.
2 days ago, I read a short story based on a passionate, frenzied love & somehow I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’m actually disturbed & maybe that’s why I need to scribble something on it. As such I don’t like reading about love stories but at the same time, it’s almost impossible to stay away from them, because somehow they always creep in.
As usual it has made me question a couple of things. We feel so badly about a character but in real life, we don’t mind hurting & insulting people. It’s okay to be callous & have a bit of fun. True feelings are meant to be insulted sooner or later & love can surely take you to hell.
This is a story about Fred Manson & Gracie. Ned Preston is another important character. He happens to be a Prison visitor & that’s how he learns about the love affair of Fred & Gracie. Fred was serving 18 months sentence in jail for stealing but whatever he did, he did in the name of love. Gracie was much above him in everyway & he wanted her to have the best of everything.
Basically Fred is the type of character who only wanted a bit of fun & it was impossible for him to remain faithful to anyone, but he falls in love with Gracie. And beyond any reasonable doubt, it was genuine love.
‘I’m gone, I can’t help myself, I’m so stuck on you I can’t see straight. I didn’t know what it was to love like I love you.’
At another point, while talking about Gracie, he says this to Ned: ‘I could have had her over & over again if I’d wanted to. And I did want to & so did she. I knew that. But I respected her, see? She’s not like other girls. She’s one in a thousand, I tell you.’
Anyhow when he went to jail for stealing, things altered. Parents of Gracie didn’t want her to marry him anymore but she left the house & started working night & day. Meanwhile Fred thought that Gracie would leave him.
On the other hand, when Ned meets Gracie & tells him about why Fred was into stealing stuff, she said, ‘Tell him that nothing matters to me as long as he loves me. Tell him I’d wait for twenty years for him if I had to. Tell him I’m counting the days till he gets out so we can get married.’
18 months is not a very long time but things do change when you keep on thinking about the same person night & day. Naturally Fred became sick to death of Gracie. He didn’t want to see her face as he hated the sight of her. Even though Ned tried to convince him but Fred didn’t change his mind & so Ned had to go & tell Gracie.
I like how Ned expresses himself; there’s a lot of truth in it that one may not like but this is what happens even in real life. You don’t mind throwing a person as if he/she is a useless squeezed lemon:
‘Imagination’s an odd thing, it dries up; I suppose thinking of her incessantly all that time he’d exhausted every emotion she could give him, & I think it was quite literally true, he’d just got sick to death of her. He’s squeezed the lemon dry & there was nothing to do but throw away the rind.’
Anyhow Gracie took this awful news in a very calm manner. It was like as if she had missed a bus & it was a nuisance to wait for another one but she didn’t create any scene. This is what she said: ‘There’s nothing for me to do now but put my head in the gas oven.’ And the sad part is that she did.
This is indeed heart wrenching. I was wondering if this is what happens when feelings are so genuine, we can’t expect much when it comes to lousy crushes & attractions. And the more I think about this story, the conclusion seems totally apt & I hate it. Gracie was left with no other option & Fred must have been truly sick & tired of her. We can’t blame any character for the choices they made. I don’t know about the others but I think I would have done the same thing.
I guess it’s very easy to say: Don’t cry…just say ‘Fuck you’ & smile!!! For a long time, I thought life was the most inexpensive thing on this planet but now I believe feelings are even more cheap. No one wants to buy them. In fact people not just get rid of them in a variety of ways but they also jeer at them along with low-life fuckers & stuck-up cunts. It’s ironic there is no market for true feelings but most of the relationships are weighed in a balance, cause that’s the only business that works out in this world.
Cody McCasland is only seven years old but he teaches us a thing about positivity and optimism to people who are much older than him. This boy had to have his legs amputated when he was only fifteen months old because of a rare condition called Sacral Agenesis. He has been walking on prosthetic legs for all his life.
But he never behaves as if he is any different from all the others around him despite of his many surgeries in such a short life. Now he is growing very quickly so he outgrows his prosthetic legs but Cody loves every moment of his life. Have a look at his well spirited life.
Yesterday I read this, which is nothing new but at this point in life, I couldn’t agree with it:
“Life is a garden. You reap what you sow.”
I’ve noticed people who have been working like mad for 20 years & they are still there. I also know people who are quite selfless & not even a single good thing has happened in their lives.
I don’t think life is a garden. Life is what happens to you & it’s different for different individuals. I think everything has been planned & we are just marionettes. You reap what you sow…it sounds like a joke to me, which is not even very nice, to begin with.
People very easily use the word slut for wanton & loose women & also for women they can’t stand for whatever reason. So far as prostitutes are concerned, some of them are born there & some of them land there due to misfortune. Life must be a garden for them also but they reap only bad names.
Last night I also read this; it was a story about a man who gave up everything for art & later on he was reduced to dirt.
“I cannot describe what a lamentable object he looked. Life had taken him, rent him on its racks, torn him limb from limb, & then flung him, a bleeding wreck, on the stone steps of that church.”
Life must be a fucking strange garden & I don't see anything fair about it.
It's simple I am kinda tired of stuff. I want some change now. Life seems monotonous and stagnant. Of course there are these moments of happiness and momentary pleasure time and again, which I cherish truly but it's that sort of change that aint happening.
Please do not mention the word "Marriage" now. It is not the sort of change I mean. Yes, but I'd be happy if that too would happen :) No denying that. Par like I keep telling everyone...the good susheel sort of guys do not exist. I am ok with the not so ideal type also...but for them I am THE BEST FRIEND.
This is not the issue actually. I am not so happy with stuff that is just not friggin happening. The pending things that keep on delaying no matter how hard we try to finish them. The peace has all gone away. The bomb blasts every now and then just makes the city so un safe. It's weird how we live. People keep dying around us, bull shit is happening, media blows it all up, politicians never stop barking, people keep on becoming the fools and nothing really changes. It is suffocating. But we still gotta live. Reminds me of that dialogue that John Abraham said in Paap "Marnay kay dar se kia insaan jeena chor de ?"
Well, nobody stops living. Only those who actually go through the shit can feel the pain. And no matter how hard we try there is not much that we can do.
A friend of mine is sad because her uncle passed away. I know she is quite sad and hurt though she wouldn't say a lot. Like I said, not much that one can do even if we want to. I wish everyone there recovers and uncle may rest in peace.
I was also a bit irritated till last 2 weeks to see how idle minds were spreading stories and discussing shit. But, then that's all they can do. And perhaps that is what they are best at doing. So, I decided not to waste any more time on even talking to them. The company that sucks should stay in the bin.
These days I am more motivated to do something about animal shelters and animals in general. These countries I thought who did so much for animals, even they are so messed up. There is no proper way of doing stuff. Talking about animals, this old cat of ours whom we adopted from our old neighbor while shifting, he keeps spraying till this day.
I tried working out things with this very old special acquaintance. He wouldn't be called a friend I guess. I was amazed that how things can never be normal even if you really try hard to make things perfect as the situation requires. I realized it's better to let go off working on this also though my attachment over the years always makes me think let's make it all good. Somethings are beyond my understanding. It aint really my thing perhaps.
There's still a whole lot more I wanted to write. Little things. They are all about the change I mentioned before. I don't want to sound like those actresses who say the same thing about every new movie they do...."Mera Role is Mai Bohat CHANGE hai" :)
This CHANGE factor is so missing I swear. Wish it was as simple as they put it.
For quite some time, I wanted to write this but somehow I think that I have been avoiding it. I often think about the death of some people like Virginia Woolf & Michael Jackson. These 2 people actually take me in another direction. Virginia Woolf drowned herself; she was a very sensitive lady. And MJ used to take 10 sedatives before going to bed. It must have been such a torture on him.
Depression is a very strange illness. Even Sidney Sheldon was a victim of this illness. I often heard people saying that they are depressed but chronic depression is something serious. When you plunge into depression, your neurotransmitters go down. And only those who have experienced it know how terrible this illness is. Doctors also don’t give a damn; they prescribe sedatives & tranquilizers.
This Ramazan I have been a victim of hopelessness. I try to pray every day & yet I don’t have words. Whatever I want, I have a feeling that it’s not happening today & it’s not going to happen tomorrow; in fact it might not even happen in the next 10 or 20 years. It seems somewhere I lost my life. For a long time, I waited to meet it but now I’m waiting for nothing. Since I’m a very fun loving person, it’s hard to believe that I’m saying so. At this point in life (how ironic), I’m not even sure if I’m in search of life anymore.
There are times I wonder how many people would turn up on my funeral. I hope I don’t die in an accident though. I think I’m not going to do anything stupid to myself as I survived death 8 years ago, which is why I like to have control over my senses 24/7 :P And it also dawned on me that when we dead wake, we see that we have never lived. Henrik Ibsen has made it sound way too beautiful. But when it occurs to you…you are shattered.
Yesterday a friend of mine narrated the story of Shelby. She has been rescued from one cruel puppy mill where she had been a breeder for 8 years. She has lost one eye. There was a time when she used to hear the word bitch & thought it was her name. She used to become happy after hearing it.
Shelby has been with my friend for the past 2 years & she’s not well these days. But in a way, she’s lucky as she’s now experiencing what is the right of every dog in the world. She has a loving family but there are so many who aren’t as lucky as Shelby, & they rot & die after being used & abused by humans.
This entire business of selling cats & dogs of course seems loathsome to me as many are being ill-treated. I have shared with you guys some stories earlier on too about animal abuse. Anyway here’s the story of Shelby in my friend’s words:
“Shelby was a "breeder" for eight years. Her teeth were rotted out because they sometimes didn't feed her while she was pregnant or nursing and the puppies sucked all the nutrition from her body. She is missing an eye. She has a club foot. She had half her tail fall off after apparently being slammed in a door. Her rear was so coated in driedfeces that she could hardly go to the bathroom--it was like a cement diaper. For the first year she lived with us, when she heard the word "bitch" she thought it was her name. She delights in rolling in the grass and getting to lick the bowl after we finish ice cream. She loves that we save her the last bite of dinner. She is afraid of thunder storms, but never before had somebody hold her and comfort her during one. She used to have bad nightmares and cry out in her sleep, she doesn't any more. She is one of many...many who suffered and one of FEW who escaped.”
Life is not cheap & by life I don’t mean just humans but also the life of any being on this planet. Puppy mills only insult life & all those who are quiet about this atrocity are the ones who ought to be ashamed of themselves. All those who say that humans aren’t being spared in this world need to shut up for a moment. Cruelty only breeds more cruelty.
Lately I have written a bit about beautiful people. However, there are some people who aren’t much to look at, but they have beautiful hearts. Inner beauty matters far more than how one looks. Besides meeting assholes & bitches, we also meet genuinely nice folks. Anyhow, life is unfair to almost everyone or so we have heard. Despite all the odds, life is worth all the trouble.
I made this reply after reading my sister’s comment:
In a way I do feel sorry for Elizabeth Taylor. I’ve always seen her with her toy dog…even in interviews, she brings one of them with her. It’s evident that something is so not right. Celebrities like Elizabeth Taylor & Michael Jackson didn’t have any childhood. Their parents made them to work when they were supposed to enjoy life in its purest form. She started working at the age of 5…this is the height of cruelty.
Marilyn’s association with the Kennedy family is mainly the reason of her death. She was about to write her memoirs & then suddenly she committed suicide. That is absurd. She was so young at the time of her death. I once read that she was also raped when she was 17. What kind of life is this? Then men used her all along. She was always depressed. She craved for love & babies. She never even had one baby. This is all very unfair. She was a loving person. She used to give food to stray cats. She was extremely sensitive & so she had to pay such a high price.
Naturally one goes further than this. You can’t help thinking that there are people who crave to have babies & yet they don’t have one. On the contrary, there are kids who are being used by the parents in the film industry & even else where. There are children whose parents don’t have time for them, so they keep maids to look after those little children.
After Michael Jackson’s death, I read on a couple of sites that now kids are safe. The charges against him were proved wrong in the court of justice & yet we have illiterates who go around even after somebody’s death saying things they probably do not even understand.
At the same time, we have annoying people who think that what they think is 100 % right & that’s the only path, cause that’s the right one. Which is why everyone should follow them. They are the ones who’d tell you that Marilyn was characterless & she got what she deserved, because such women end up like this. A couple of years ago, somebody’s ex boyfriend threw acid on her face. She was some unknown Pakistani actress. Unfortunately I can’t recall her name. When I narrated this story, girls were of the view kay theek hee hua. How can one be so ruthless? And what is the justification for being barbaric? I don’t see one justification for being hideously abnormal & barbaric.
Of course one can go on forever but that wouldn’t change anything.
